Pretty much every time Every Time I Die frontman, Keith Buckley, opens his mouth or puts pen to paper something funny comes out. Here are some samples from a recent band update he wrote that illustrate how, if he decided to give up the rock, he could be the next Joe Rogan or at least get a publicity gig at a sleazy record label:
"Unless you're a sorority girl, you're probably not accustomed to dudes telling you that something called 'The Big Dirty' is about to invade your personal space," he begins. "Well, we here at Every Time I Die are doing just that, so open your holes wide."
He continues: "This August, Ferret Music will release what can only be described as 'Every Time I Die's newest album. Chock-a-block with riffs that only four months of a Buffalo, New York winter could spawn, this new record will undoubtedly satisfy those that have followed the band since their first full length release Last Night In Town all the way through Gutter Phenomenon. And if you were one of the 38 confused men who strayed somewhere along that interim, we welcome you back with open arms."
The hyperbole and sarcasm don't end there: "You want ironically distasteful rock and roll pretenses? You got 'em. You want riffs so filthy they should have a mustache and wear elastic workout pants when they go out to eat at the Olive Garden? Right here, boys. You want mosh parts so brutal [they] could star opposite Charles Bronson in any of the Death Wish movies? Come get some."
The Big Dirty is being recorded in California with producer Steve Evetts, who has previously worked with Dillinger Escape Plan, Sick of It All and A Static Lullaby, and, according to Buckley, it features "ten plus tracks that tore from our filthy hands like the creature that jumped out of that dudes stomach in Alien."
Sounds convincing to us. Now, who wants a video?: ETID's "Kill the Music":










