There’s nothing geekier than Dungeons & Dragons, right? Wrong, says 3 Inches of Blood screamer Cam Pipes, who gets together with friends on a weekly basis to drink, roll multi-sided dice and imagine he’s in another world where steel clashes with steel, arrows sink into scaly monster flesh and scantily clad maidens are ripe for the picking. Call Pipes a wuss and he’ll decapitate you with a single swing of his battleaxe — or at least he’ll fantasize about doing so. We asked Pipes to pipe up about his favorite pastime and here’s what he said:
I only play one fantasy role playing game - Dungeons & Dragons. I’ve only played it for a few years, but it is a weekly event that I, and a regular group of nerds, cherish. Our campaigns are epically-woven tapestries of sword and sorcery.
We do not play in a pleasant fantasy world where unicorns frolic with faeries and kindly old wizards help rescue maiden princesses. It is a grim and gritty setting where naked steel rules the day, barbarians and nobles ravage and pillage the people and land. Slavery is common, people hate each other for no reason at all, virgins are sacrificed to demons on a monthly basis, the good guys rarely win and nobody ever lives happily ever after.
This world is filled with the supernatural, drugs, sorcery, demons, decadence, depravity, horror and villains without boundaries. Life for the average inhabitant is poor, nasty, brutish and short. In the wilderness, villages have to contend with wandering monsters and the raids of nomads, brigands and evil humanoids. Disease is common within both walled cities and the wilderness; so is infant mortality.
In other words, Dungeons & Dragons is so much better than reality.
Thanks Cam. Now watch 3 Inches of Blood’s “Deadly Sinners” and see what else Cam is good at:
