Many years ago, we read members of Judas Priest and even Metallica claim that heavy metal is based in classical music, and we laughed. "Classical music was for wusses," we thought. "And clearly nothing on Master of Puppets or Screaming For Vengeance could be mistaken for Mozart or Beethoven. Sure, guitar wankers like Yngwie Malmsteen and Tony MacAlpine paid homage to dudes like Paganini and Tchaikovsky, but their music wasn't really metal. Yeah, it was loud, but it was also unlistenably pretentious. Then came the Internet and a couple of musicians from Taiwan and we were forced to admit that maybe Priest and Metallica knew what they were talking about, after all.

For anyone that hasn't seen this video of a South Korean teenager playing a ripping heavy metal version of "Pachelbel's Canon in D" by Johan Pachelbel, here's the 411. The song was originally arranged by Taiwanese compose Jerry Chang, but this popular Internet version -- which has been viewed over 24 million times -- is played by Jeong-Hyun Lim, who goes by the name FunTwo.

This recording of "Canon Rock" reportedly replaced Motley Crue's "Shout at the Devil" in the Indonesian version of "Guitar Hero II." We always knew Mick Mars couldn't play his way out of a Third World nation videogame.
Funtwo-Canon Rock (re-synched)

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In a post on the Slickidiot MySpace site, singer En Esch denies reports that he has joined Rammstein to replace vocalist Till Lindemann.

"Since I have been contacted by many friends, fans and acquaintances about the news that I'm the new singer of Rammstein, I think I need to set the record straight. Although it sounds interesting, it is not true."

Esch added that his priority right now is to focus new material by Slick Idiot -- which features Esch and ex-KMFDM member Günter Schulz -- and to mix tracks for computer, vocalist and sound artist Mona Mur.

"Rammstein and I are and will stay friends and I wish them the best in their future endeavors," he concluded.

The press release announcing Esch's addition to Rammstein allegedly came from Emanuel Fialik of Pilgrim Management GmbH, which represents the band, and was received by numerous press outlets on July 15.

Earlier today, The Gauntlet reported that the press release was a hoax and did not come from Rammstein's management. Rammstein are currently working on material for their upcoming album.
Now, check out Till at his finest in Rammstein's "Feuer Frei!" video:

Here are a few choice words from director Roboshobo about the new Mastodon video for "Sleeping Giant," which will premiere right here on Friday morning."

"The concept for the video was kind of my take on the mythology that seems to be encapsulated in the album," he begins. "I thought the reference to 'Father Snake in the song sounded like an actual priest of some sort and thats where the robot came in..."

Uh, okay. For those of us that haven't yet seen the video (which is pretty much all of us), we'll have to wait until Friday to see what the hell robot he's talking about.

But let's hear some more about this clip, which -- having no idea what we're talking about here -- sounds like it's gonna be a freak-out blend between "Blade Runner," "Clash of the Titans" and "Tetsuo II: Body Hammer."

"Turning the blind man into a miniature landscape that evolves and eventually commits nuclear suicide -- that was my take on the 'sleeping giant -- like a volcano that's threatening to erupt," he continues, sounding like a street corner schizophrenic.

"I also liked to think that the point of the ritual was to cultivate a crystal skull from the man's bones after being in the earth for so long -- sort of like the way coal turns to a diamond under pressure."

Yes, clearly. But wait, there's more.

"The blind man who was unwittingly used in the ritual goes nuclear and destroys himself before the bones crystallize, thereby thwarting the priest."

Now that we're all completely confused, let's hear Roboshobo discuss the method behind his madness: "When I mentioned to [drummer] Brann [Dailor] and everyone the idea of giving it a period feel like [Michael Anderson's 'Logan's Run' or [Alejandro Jodorowsky's] 'The Holy Mountain,' they lit up at the idea of a Jodorowsky vibe. I think its a nice blend of science fiction and surrealism."

Despite the surreal plot, Roboshobo says the shoot was fairly routine. "The only weird thing that happened was that, while relighting the set, the actor playing the blind dude decided it would be fun to run up to cars outside the studio that were stopped at the traffic light," he says. "But it's LA, so I don't know if anyone was actually startled by the pink bald guy with white eyes in a loincloth; they may have just thought he was a homeless albino."

Although Roboshobo has mostly worked on animation-filled projects for indie bands, including Kiss Kiss, The Burning Tree Projekt and Blood Brothers, he says he's also into metal. "I'm a fan of Mastodon," he says. "So trying to create their heads as stone monoliths in space felt a bit like being commissioned to do a portrait for a royal family."

Now here's something that makes a lot more sense -- the video for Mastodon's "Colony of Birchmen":

Last summer, Slayer embarked on the unforgettable Unholy Alliance tour with Lamb of God, Mastodon, Children of Bodom and Thine Eyes Bleed. But for Slayer fans, this year's summer trek ain't quite so destructive. Starting July 25 in West Palm Beach, Florida, the band will launch a summer tour with Marilyn Manson that runs through September 1 in Selma, Texas.

Ten years ago, when Manson had just released the inflammatory industrial metal manifesto Antichrist Superstar, the bill would have been exciting and provocative, but coming at a time when Marilyn is dating a chick half his age, wallowing in post-relationship diatribes and writing Talking Heads/Bowie inspired songs that lack the serrated fire of his early work, hitting the road with Slayer makes about as much sense as playing Frisbee in freeway traffic.

Slayer guitarist Kerry King recently told MTVnews.com that Manson's fate on the tour has a lot to do with the songs he chooses to perform. "It's definitely going to be weird," King said. "If he comes out and plays 'Tainted Love,' half the place is going to leave. No offense to Manson — I'm just saying what's up. I want him to come out and kick ass, because I'm an old-school fan. He can succeed on this tour, if he chooses the right set."

Check out two songs from Manson's set at the Download festival and judge for yourself whether Manson's still got enough mettle to win over Slayer fans:

Kelly Johnson, original lead guitarist and vocalist for the influential British metal band Girlschool, died on July 15 following a six year battle with spinal cancer. She was 49.

The first most anyone became aware of Johnson's condition was on July 13 when a blog post from a friend pointed out "she is in the hospital fighting for her life." Two days later, members of the Donnas and Girlschool posted the sad news of Johnson's death on their MySpace page.

While the Runaways are widely regarded as the first all-girl hard rock band, England's Girlschool were meaner, grittier and more metallic, and Johnson played a major role in establishing the band's early sound. Her guitar leads were fast and bluesy and her playing was packed with aggression and attitude, perfectly matching the band's hybrid of new wave-of-British-heavy-metal rhythms and glam-punk melodies.

Girlschool formed in 1977. Originally, the band was called Painted Lady, but changed its name when Johnson joined. Girlschool released their first single, "Take it All Away," in December 1978, and toured with Motorhead in the spring of 1979. The connection may have seemed a tad tenuous at the time, but Motorhead were one of Girlschool's greatest supporters, taking them on numerous tours, helping them get signed to Bronze Records and recording an EP with them, St Valentine's Day Massacre in 1981.

Johnson played on Girlschool's first four albums, 1980's Demolition, 1981's classic Hit and Run, 1982's Screaming Blue Murder and 1983's Play Dirty.

But in 1983, she left the band and moved to Los Angeles. Ten years later, Johnson rejoined Girlschool and moved back to England. For the next seven years, she toured around the world with them and played on their 1985 concert album Live. Then, five years later, she left the music business for good.

In homage to Johnson, here's Girlschool and Motorhead performing "Please Don't Touch.":

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The correct answer to yesterday's indecipherable logo is:

B) Manowar.

Just kiddin'! It's none other than D) Dance Club Massacre.

The Chicago quintet formed in 2004 to play an experimental (with the emphasis on mental) hybrid of grindcore, metal, punk, thrash and indie rock. Influences include Napalm Death, The Locust, An Albatross, Between the Buried and Me, Daughters, Converge, HORSE the Band, Fantomas and Pig Destroyer. But when it comes to lyrics, Dance Club Massacre don't go for any of that political and personal exploration crap, opting instead for songs about horror movies, partying, beer and getting laid.

The group started as a just-for-kicks project between singer Nick Seger and keyboardist Nick Latos and the duo quickly banged out a demo of three songs they dubbed "Halloween-core."

The demo received unexpectedy strong feedback, so the guys decided to turn the project into band, hiring guitarist Mitch Hein, bassist Chris Mrozek and drummer Jon Caruso. In 2005, the full band recorded a new seven-song demo at Blam Recording in Chicago with engineer Eric Butkus. The Massacre then booked shows in and around Chicago, but by the end of 2006 Latos left the band and was replaced by Matt Hynek.

In April 2006 Dance Club Massacre returned to the studio with Butkus to record their full-length debut Feast of Blood and Monster. After self-releasing the album, which quickly sold out all 1,100 printed copies, largely via Interpunk.com, the band was signed by Blackmarket Activities, which reissued Feast of Blood and Monsters on July 10. The band is currently on tour and will remain on the road through August 25 in Birch Run, Michigan.

England's BBC Radio recently ran a fascinating interview with Professor William Irwin, a professor of philosophy at King's College and the author of the book "Metallica and Philosophy."

During the discussion, Irwin draws parallels between the songs of Metallica and the writings of famous philosophers, including Rene Descartes, Plato, Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus.

The specific tracks discussed are "Master of Puppets," "One" and "Forever I May Roam," and each is backed with Apocalyptica covering Metallica.

Bravo William, just don't try to convince us the title Kill 'Em All is based on existential ponderings or that there's anything deep about a line like "Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire" ("Fuel").

Also available for your reading pleasure, lengthy excepts from Irwin's book.

Mindbending extreme math-metal band, The Dillinger Escape Plan, have entered Omen Room Studios in Los Angeles to begin tracking songs with their longtime engineer Steve Evetts. Drums on the album are being recorded by Stolen Babies member Gil Sharone following the shock departure of Chris Pennie to Coheed in Cambria last month.

"We found out about him playing with Coheed on the Internet," guitarist Ben Weinman told MTVnews.com's Metal File. "[Frontman] Greg [Puciato] forwarded me a link to an announcement, and I'm like, 'What?!?' At that point, though, he was just going to record with them — it wasn't like he wasn't going to play with us, but we were questioning keeping him in the band every day because it was embarrassing. But obviously, we felt that his talent was so needed for the band that we tried to make it work, and we let him go through this little midlife crisis or whatever it was, because we never thought he'd join that band over this band. It doesn't make sense. They're not Linkin Park. If you're going to sell out, sell out, you know?"

Obviously, Weinman is still baffled and pissed off, and he's not about to hold his tongue. "It's unbelievable," he continued. "And the funny thing is, before all of this started going down, he used to make fun of that band left and right. He'd imitate [Coheed frontman Claudio Sanchez's] voice and would say, 'They f---ing suck' and all this sh--. It's funny, because everybody just looks at us like, 'Huh?' And we had the same reaction. The other day, we were hanging out with [(+44) drummer] Travis Barker, [and] the guy we have playing drums with us now is good friends with him, and he's a big Dillinger fan, and he's like, 'What happened to your drummer?' We told him, 'He quit and joined Coheed,' and he just looked so confused."

Now that he's vented, Weinman feels like spreading dirt, and who are we to argue? He insists Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins was actually hired to play drums on Coheed's upcoming album, No World for Tomorrow, and that Pennie didn't play a recorded beat. "[He's] a fill-in drummer for Taylor Hawkins," scoffed Weinman. "He's basically the f---ing live player for that dude."

Is it finally time for Weinman to start talking about his band? Seems like it. Weinman told Metal File that since Sharone is now onboard, the band can get back to the task of making music, not talking smack and that the group's new record, Ire Works, is fixin' to be the band's most intense offering yet.

"On this record, it's just sort of like a combination of almost everything we've done in the past, but on overdrive," Weinman said. "Everything is just right. We figured it out. And everything is pretty emotional, too. Everything's really super angry, even when the music isn't all that aggressive. With these songs it's like, 'Oh, you're about to get complacent with where you're at with this song,' and then, all of a sudden, it hits you in the ass again and jerks you around. It's like being on a f---ed-up roller coaster."

Tracks on Ire Works include "Black Bubblegum," "Death's Head Moth" and "Saigon Whore," and the album is tentatively scheduled for October release.

"When Chris hears our record, he's going to feel like a real a--hole," Weinman said, shifting back into 'our-former-drummer's-a-jerk' mode. "He blew it. [Gil's] drumming is unbelievable -- some of the best drumming we've ever had on any of our records. And now, Gil is going to be known as the guy for this kind of thing. This would have been the record that set Chris up as a drumming dude — as a session guy, a clinic guy — and now, Gil's already got all these companies doing ads based on him playing on this record."

Take that, Chris.

For the full interview with Dillinger Escape Plan (with even more grousing) and the rest of this week's metal news check out this week's Metal File.

Before guitarist Larry LaLonde joined Primus, he played for the seminal San Francisco thrash/death band Possessed. But before he joined, the group recorded its 1984 demo "Death Metal" (which may have been the first reference to the emerging genre) with guitarist Brian Montana. Click "more" to download the classic four-song recording, which features "Death Metal," "Evil Warriors," "Burning in Hell" and "Fallen Angel." Read more...

This week, Headbangers Ball will debut "Life is Beautiful," the new video by Sixx:A.M., which features Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx.

The song is the first single from "The Heroin Diaries" soundtrack, an album that accompanies, not a movie, but Sixx's upcoming unflinching autobiography: "Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star." A seven-page preview of the book has been posted on RockConfidential.com.

The full book comes out September 18 on MTV/VH1 Pocket Books, a division of Simon & Schuster. Based on journals Sixx kept between 1986 and 1987, the tome addresses the bassist's harrowing decent into drug addiction, a struggle that nearly ended his life.

"It starts on Christmas morning 1986 with me sitting in front of a Christmas tree alone, shooting up heroin," Sixx told MTVnews.com when he started working on the book. "I'm sitting there thinking, 'I've done sold-out stadiums. I'm all over MTV. I'm in one of the hugest new bands there is, and I'm alone on Christmas morning with no decorations and no presents. Just me and my needle.' "

The rest of the book chronicles the next year of Sixx's life, focusing on raucous concerts, copious drug use, lust-crazed groupies, excessive drug use, rowdy tour buses, death-defying drug use, rock and roll antics, and, of course, gratuitous drug use.

"Basically it ends where it began," Sixx told MTVnews.com. "It was three days after I'd had a [near-]fatal heroin overdose, and I'm sitting there in front of the Christmas tree again doing the same thing I was doing the year before, and I think I really had a revelation at that moment that I had to stop. It was a real pinnacle moment in my life."

Some might argue that the stories in "The Heroin Diaries" glamorize drug use, but Sixx claims just the opposite: "If you read this book, you will never do drugs," he told MTVnews.com. "Sh--ting your pants and throwing up all over yourself, and the detox, and the psychosis, and a lot of the other stuff in this book is just not glamorous."

Sixx will play his first concert with Sixx:A.M. on July 16 in Los Angeles. The band also features singer and producer James Michael and ex-Beautiful Creatures guitarist DJ Ashba. The soundtrack for "Heroin Diaries" features 13 songs and is scheduled for release August 21.

"What a huge body of work we've pulled off," wrote Sixx on his official Website. "We're all proud to have this album under our wings."

Until this weekend, here's Sixx with Mötley Crüe in the video for "Dr. Feelgood":