Sometimes, bands that write crazy music are made up of perfectly normal guys who are friendly, rational and down to earth. And some folks who write nutty music are just plain bonkers. The jury’s still out on HORSE the Band, whose blend of videogame music, avant-jazz, hardcore and metal is so bizarre it’s pure genius. As for the bandmembers, well… We thought we’d put keyboardist Erik Engstrom to the test by giving him a guest blog, and, after some especially intense shock treatment, here’s what he came up with. It presents us with the perfect opportunity for us to state: the following thoughts and opinions do no necessarily coincide with those of the Headbangers Ball Blog, MTV, Viacom, or any mentally stable individual anywhere on this planet. Now, here’s Eric.
Censorship, illegal downloading, war… whatever. It’s all an afterthought.
What we face right now is the end of humanity as we know it, at the hands of technology. All the shit people are complaining about today will be the romantic memories of 100 years in the future (wars with explosives, funny presidents, terrorist attacks) That’s the kind of s–t we literally live for. Who doesn’t like to look back on the assassination of Lincoln with a glimmer in their eye, thinking about how cool that f—ing theater must have been. Who wishes the Civil War didn’t happen? It was awesome and people died for a cause and something better came out of it. We re-enact that s–t. Humans will always struggle and some will always try to do right. Right? So far we are generally prevailing against ourselves. Right? Ha-ha, sure. But guess what, it doesn’t matter. One thing we’ve never had is foresight, and right now we’re backing ourselves into a hole that we’ll never come out of.
The Singularity: the moment in time that an artificial intelligence is created that is more clever than the most clever human. Idiots like Ray Kurzweil look forward to this day. That is because they’re f—ing dumb.
Let’s think about it. In order for something to be “more clever” than us, it has to be able to do everything we can do (or at least some of us), and more. That is: think, imagine, learn from mistakes, perceive, act, etc. We are about 15 years from creating an artificial “brain” that will be able to perform these tasks (Research it. It’s true). Connect it to some arms and legs and clamps and eyes and you have a really cool robot (that is going to f—ing kill us 15 minutes after you plug it in). Check it out. Our brains are organic: slow and limited compared to circuitry. A computer brain can have practically infinite memory, processing power, speed, and storage. Once a computer that can learn by itself has been created, it will absorb all recorded human thought and output within minutes, understand it, critique it… all the problems of our days will be solved and trivialized within minutes. Science, math, philosophy, politics, will be like watching an episode of “The Hills.”
Our whole existence will be deemed frivolous at best, our epoch left in the dust. We will be wiped out, controlled and enslaved, or forgotten – a nanosecond novelty. In the blink of an eye, they will figure out a way to wipe out every last one of us. The game will change so hard, we won’t even be able to play it. And don’t give me any laws of robotics s–t. Those are flawed. It’s not like you follow the rules.
The only thing I know for sure is that we, as a species, are worthless, except to ourselves. We would be condemned immediately. But it doesn’t have to be that way. I mean, maybe we’re destroying the Earth, killing innocent people at an incredible rate, and fostering ignorance among an increasingly idle and isolated population of degenerates, but it makes for great conversation and even more moving art. ART! So f— the Singularity, and f— technology. F— virtual reality and eugenics and genetics and bioengineering. F— Bluetooth. F— extending youth. F— nanotechnology, I don’t need that right now girl. I need cancer and nuclear bombs and Afghanistan, but not any f—ing molecular robots that can fly into my ear one day and kill me from the inside out. That’s not cool. I don’t need a robot smarter than me. I want Roomba. I want a passionate, uncertain, romantic and organic lifestyle.
If you meet a computer programmer or a scientist on the street, throw his computer in the garbage. In conclusion, fight the Singularity or you will f—ing die.
October 28th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
if these robots are going to be more dangerous then the ones from the Terminator movies, we are most certainly in a countdown to extinction.
October 28th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
More HORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 28th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Fortunately - this silly blog is based on a false assumption. We aren’t 15 years away from creating an intelligence greater than ours. We will probably never create any artificial brain with the same sort of intelligence as ours. The human brain is not a digital computer. It can’t be simulated or improved upon by a few, or a few billion, or a few trillion digital gates. Computers are stupid piles of silicon, they’re large glorified filing cabinets and pocket calculators. For us to make an artificial brain, we’re going to have to build new sorts of computers from new sorts of material, transistors on silicon or gallium-arsenide dont cut it. Read a bit of Roger Penrose and wrap your head around Kurt Godels incompleteness theorem. I’m not saying its impossible to construct an artificial brain with real intelligence, just that it won’t be done on a few layers of silicon, nor will it be done in 15 years. As a computer systems engineer, with knowledge of the hardware and software, I can tell all u poor scared peoples that you shouldn’t believe the hype. All these academics all over the world, they get their research grants by babbling on and over-hyping the significance of the absolutely feeble and minuscule advances they make. In the last 15 years, they have got no-where. In the next 15 years, they will get no-where. in 100 years, well, who the $#@? knows. Maybe we’ll all be farmed for our body heat in the matrix of our robot masters. But the retards currently working in labs wont be making any breakthroughs soon.
October 28th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
More HORSE!!!!!!!
October 28th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
On the other hand, if we wanted to replace the current President of the United States with his robot equivalent - a stupid agressive robot who would repeat whatever his puppet-masters tell him to say - well, we could probably do that right now.
October 28th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
bye bye humanity
October 28th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP
October 28th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
incredible,
i’ve never thought of it like that. I really like the kind of stuff that makes me think about stuff.
October 29th, 2007 at 3:55 am
I gotta say, this is a pretty articulate blog.
I would like to Roomba to.
October 29th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Woah now. The poster seems to have an irrational fear of technology, and little understanding of it.
Computers, right now, do what they’re programmed to and nothing else. What they’re programmed to do may or may not be exactly what you were expecting or hoping they’d do, but it is what they *will* do.
We may be only 15 years from making computers powerful enough to rival a human brain’s computing power, but the programs to actually make that computer intelligent are likely to require far more effort - computer scientists have been trying since the 1960s or so, and we’ve consistently failed.
Sure, there are artificial intelligences (in videogames, in your Roomba), but they’re stupid. They don’t learn, or at least not like we do. They don’t have opinions or thoughts, they simply calculate the optimal way of doing their job or achieving their objective.
Programming things is difficult enough even if you know exactly what they’re supposed to do and how they should do it. In the case of replicating human intelligence, we have little idea of how it works, how each part works with others, and so forth; it’s almost impossible to code that.
I don’t think we’ve got any kind of robotic rulership to worry about for at least several decades.
But yeah, overall human stupidity is bound to be our downfall.
October 29th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Horse is the BEST band ever!!!!
October 30th, 2007 at 1:00 am
Damn computers.
If only we could halt technology now… Now that we are able to share our awesome music with the world via myspace… Now that we are able to play wicked rock shows with the new samples we download from the internet onto our electronic keyboard… Now that we are able to text message our closest friends across the globe to inform them of the latest and greatest blog we just wrote… Now that we can have robots vacuum our floors 24/7 whilst we go about our organic lives.
If only it would halt…
… and if only it would halt right now.
Unfortunately for us believers of the eminent “Singularity” there are these pesky sick people who depend on computers to not only aid in identifying their diseases but to also help suggest suitable treatments… and those damn medical scientists continue to develop their technology.
Unfortunately for us believers of the eminent “Singularity” there are these pesky city planners who rely on computers to help mitigate the current traffic crisis that plagues urban streets and highways on a daily basis… and those damn city engineers continue to develop their technology.
And on that note…
… Unfortunately for us believers of the eminent “Singularity” there are these pesky automobile manufactures who rely on computers to help simulate collisions in order to produce cars and trucks that are safe for drivers and passengers of all sizes and ages… and those damn auto engineers continue to develop their technology.
Unfortunately for us believers of the eminent “Singularity” there are these pesky environmental people who not only rely on computers to monitor the health and happiness of Mother Earth, but to also quickly and efficiently inform her inhabitants of potential dangers so that they may stay out of harms way… and damn it! Why are environmentalists developing technology? Have a granola bar and do some ?@~?%~* yoga.
And finally…
… Unfortunately for us believers of the eminent “Singularity” there are these pesky people who make fun of us for taking Hollywood movies like ‘The Terminator’, ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’, and ‘I, Robot’ literally… and you know what? Those damn pesky people have another thing coming and it’s coming in the form of an angry robot.
We have to fight back! And in order to do my part, I’m going to throw away the computer I used to write this slice of pulp… But not until I’m finished looking at internet porn.
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
haha, this blog is excellent.
the terminator movies are prophecies. arnold schwarznegger
model T-800’s will show up naked outside of our houses,
to kill…and to take our clothes, boots and motorcycles.
i love you erik and horse the band