"Neglect" painting by Paul Booth
Golden Showers
Here’s a quick story about some typical behind the scenes antics. While I can’t disclose which band did this, I can at least reveal what happened. I think it was on one of the Ozzfest tours. Anyway, I’m walking down the side area of the stage, and I see these four musician friends of mine standing in a circle pissing into two decent sized barrels of water.
I thought it was a strange scene, but I just chuckled and kept walking. I didn’t really get the joke, but since all of them were laughing, I figured something funny was going on that I’d hear about later. Well, I certainly did. Many of you may remember how Ozzy used to douse the crowd with water during his set. Well, those barrels were the ones he used on the crowd that night. So to all my friends in the first 10 rows, I hope Ozzy quenched your thirst.
Protect and Serve
I don’t know if any of you remember this tattoo I did years ago that seemed to be pretty popular. It was of the devil crucified on a cross and being tortured by Christ, the pope and a nun. The tattoo belongs to a close old friend of mine that I went to catholic school with and whom I’ve known since I was three. He had grown up and become one of those special forces, crazy-ass, soldier guys that could kill you with a finger.
I don’t remember if he was on leave or if he was retired from the military at the time, but he was hanging with me at a busy convention. There was a large crowd around the booth and he felt he should play the role of bodyguard. Because of his background, I guess that came naturally to him. So, we're standing there and, out of nowhere, this guy lunged forward over the table like he was going to attack me. Without hesitation, my old and dear friend sprung to action and punched the guy square in the side of his head.
As we learned later, the guy we thought was attacking me was actually having an epileptic seizure and he had unintentionally lunged towards me. I think the poor bastard woke up with a cracked skull. For better or worse, this is typical of the irony that surrounds my life.
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