I get asked a lot of tattoo-related questions in my travels. But for some reason, the question I always hear the most is, “Did you ever get puked on?” Unfortunately, the answer is yes.
I had been tattooing at a street shop for less than a year, and, obviously still had a lot to learn. While I was working on a customer, he passed passed out, which was the first time that happened. Not sure what to do, and in a slight panic, I went to my boss, who came in the room and tried to wake the guy up, but to no avail. Finally, he told me, “You might as well finish the tattoo while he’s out, since he’s not moving.”
So I got back to work. About ten minutes later, seemingly still unconscious, my customer lifted his head and projectile vomited across the room. He started by puking at the wall next to his head, and as he slowly turned his head, the typhoon of vomit splashed in an arc —much like a water sprinkler. He ended this puke-fest by spewing in my lap. It was probably one of the most disgusting experiences of my life. Then, the guy dropped his head and went back to being unconscious, as if it never happened.
Apparently, he was drunk, something I hadn't noticed when I started working on him. I managed to wake his ass up, at which point, he and his girlfriend agreed to clean my room. Of course, I was holding my baseball bat at the time. Since we didn't have a garden hose or anything else to wash myself off with, I used about 30 cups of water before I got enough of the crap off me to ride my bike home to change.
At the end of my half hour ride home, the vomit was dry and stuck to my leg through my pants. I had to hose myself down in the yard like a dog. And it took a another day to clean my room. So, let me tell you, getting puked on is not fun. That was the last drunk I ever tattooed, and I think I’ll keep it that way… chunks are gross.
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