Seriously, Gene, don't flatter yourself
There was no way we were going to get through the day without talking about the Gene Simmons sex tape that's circulating around the internet (we'll get to the link later, but be advised, this s--t's totally NSFW).
If you haven't seen it, be advised that it might be more titillating to watch monkeys getting it on in the zoo. For real, the chick is hot and all, but even frickin' Rob Jeremy looks better in a horizontal position, and -- despite Gene's claims that he has slept with over 4,600 women -- he doesn't do anything on the video that leads us to believe all those girls walked away with their worlds rocked. And, from what we can see in the clip, it appears that his tongue is his only unusually large appendage.
Moreover, the production values of the thing are complete crap -- even for a sextape. Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson, who Gene may or may not have slept with (the jury's still out on those) could both teach him a few things about effective zooming and proper lighting technique. Of course, that leads us to the very real possibility that maybe it's not Gene. Sure, the hair, face and distended gut sure look like him, but without his makeup on it's pretty hard to tell.
Anyway, here's a link to the damn thing, and don't say we didn't warn you.
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