I’m a supporter of the police force. Strange as it may seem, I am.
I have many, many police officer friends and have a blast hanging out with them. However, I had a situation come up two weeks ago that I can’t let go, and if I don’t calm down, it could get me in a little trouble. At the moment, I have a bad shoulder. Actually, it’s been hurting for about six years and I need to get surgery, but I’m holding off as long as I can.
When I was 17 years old, I was in a terrible car accident. I didn’t hurt my shoulder at all, but I did receive 125 stitches in the face. Also, I have a wife and two beautiful children and would never put their lives in any danger. When I get in my car, everyone in my family puts on seat belts. When I put mine on, I place the belt under my left shoulder because it puts pressure on my shoulder.
Now, two weeks ago on a Saturday evening 5:30 p.m., I was driving to my mother’s for dinner, with the family all buckled in, and I see a police officer on the side of the road. “Is he broken down?” I wonder. Just when I begin to slow down to turn around, I see another police officer in the middle of my lane, waving me into a parking lot.
Now, let me inform you, just a few days prior to this Saturday there was a woman murdered less than a half-mile from where this officer, who looks a little like the priest that tried to save Linda Blair’s character in “The Exorcist,” is standing. The old priest. My mind races again. “Are they blocking the road off? Are they cornering the killers?”
I pull in with my buckled up family and the officer says, “License and registration.” Once more I’m thinking, “S–t, was I speeding? I don’t think I was?”
After about 10 minutes he returns. “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” he asks. “No sir, I have no idea,” I reply. And then he hits me with it. “I’m pulling you over for a seat belt violation.” At this point, I show him the ol’ seat belt under the left arm and he says, “Don’t pull that with me. I saw you put that on when I pointed you in here!!!”
Okay, all I can think is, “This guys lying. Period!” I try to tell him that i didhave my seat belt on and he yells at me not to argue with him. My wife tries to tell him that I had it on and he tells her, “SHUT UP MA’AM, I’M NOT TALKIN’ TO YOU. IF YOU WERE DRIVIN I’D BE TALKIN’ TO YOU, BUT YOU’RE NOT!!!!!”
This is all happening with my children in the car - eight years and one month old. He walks away again. When he comes back, he asks me, “Have you ever been pulled over for a seat belt violation?” I reply, “No, sir.” He says I can go to court if I want in May or just “go ahead and send ‘er on in.”
I try to talk to him again. “Sir, I can’t drive more than 20 feet before the screaming beeping sound goes off if I don’t have my seat belt on.” I only know this from driving to the trash. I always wear my seat belt unless I’m going to the trash. He screams that he’s “done arguing with me!” I give one last sad attempt to stop this old f–k from giving me a ticket that I don’t deserve. I say, “Sir, I know so many of your police officer colleagues.” I start rattling off the names of one, two, three, four different officers, a sergeant. He says, “They’d be happy to know you’re arguin’ with me!!!”
I ask for his name and tells me , “It’s on the ticket!” and throws it at me. As I look down at this piece of paper full of lies, it reads as follows: “Failure to wear seat belt. Driver put seat belt on upon being pulled over.” Then I read down further and where it has a place for my signature it says, “Refused.” Refused?!!!! This f–k never asked me to sign s–t! And as for his name thats “on the ticket,” I can’t read s–t! He’s too f–king old to write! I look around to see where he is and I see him in the middle of the f–king road smoking a cigarette waiting for the next horrible seatbelt violator!
So, let’s recap this deal here. The f–k lied about me signing the ticket, he yelled at my wife, he lit up a fucking smoke in the middle of the road while on duty! Aren’t these all violations of officer policy??!! And for closers, he lied about my f–king seat belt not being worn. By the way, when my one moth old son wakes up in the car, he screams like he’s being f–king attacked by Mike Tyson. Do you think I would let the fucking car BEEP-BEEP-BEEP and wake the little dude up??? F–k, no!!!!!!
The ticket is gonna cost me $15 or I could go to court with my color wheeled twisted f–king hair and put my word up against the fucking exorcist dude. Or I could refuse to pay it and spend a night in jail. I haven’t decided what I’m gonna do yet. It’s obvious that it’s not the $15 that’s at issue here. It’s the fact that I can’t stand a f—ing liar! And a liar cop is even worse!
My police officer buddies that know this cryptic mother fucker say he’s old and bitter. Well, f–k him! I still back the police as well as the armed forces, the fire men and woman and all the people put in authority to keep us safe. but I could get an ulcer over this f–king seat belt deal. Remember, the woman that was murdered a stone’s throw from the f–king seat belt roadblock??!! They still haven’t found the killers. So, hey guys, better go spend some more time lying to people about those f–king seat belt violators for $15 a pop.
