If you Crossed Dillinger Escape Plan with John Zorn's Naked City, you might begin to approximate the sound of Colorado sonic terrorists Cephalic Carnage. Since their music is so frickin' wild we decided to ask them some pretty bizarre questions and possibly get some insight into their warped corkscrews of noise. But in the end it was hard to tell who was the bigger smart-ass, us or singer Lenzig Van Strokingoff. We'd like to say it was a draw, but...
HeadbangersBlog: We had to look up the word "Cephalic" to find out in means, "the ratio of the maximum width of the head to its maximum length, multiplied by 100." How in hell does that pertain to your band?
Lenzig van Strokingoff: There a few meanings for thy word "cephalic." the one I used was from an old 1950's-1960's medical dictionary and it said "to pertain to the head or brain,"; in your definantion it could mean "thought provoking."
Did you have to look up words like “Heptarchy” and “Megacosm,” and if not, how did you cultivate such an amazing vocabulary.
Watching "CSI" and "Law & Order." I think those shows are like college for poor folk.
Your music is clearly influenced in part by jazz. Please describe why Kenny G. is such a widely respected, world-class jazz musician?
Cause he has got the lips (in a Mick Jagger English accent). Really we are just inspired by music in general, for the love of music. Jazz is for nice guys. Man, I hope I don’t get beat up by some brutal jazz playin' sax player for saying that.
For uninformed readers, please explain the beauty of a brutal jazz playin' sax player like John Zorn and other avant-jazz acts.
For me its all about the eclecticness, and off-beat zaniness. Thats I what I can dig about these cats.
Do you feel lucky to be from Edgewater, Colorado, the extreme metal capital of the world?
I think our drummer John Merryman and our PO Box are from there, but Nick and I live in Denver which is right across the street from Edgewater. They have a bigger stadium for hockey, and a better football team then Denver. And the Edgewater Inn has the sickest metal jukebox ever. They also serve Dimmu burgers with cheese. Hail Denver!
Your latest album Xenosapien depicts a monkey and a space alien in the womb together. Do you relate more to the space alien or the monkey and why?
A little of both, actually. Some days I feel a little spacey, then I like to monkey around.
The thrash metal movement seems to be experiencing a renaissance of sorts. Is grindcore next?
It's already on its way!!! It's called glam-grind. Napalm Death plus Motley Crue equals dudes that look and sound like the Crue, with the testosterone of Napalm Death. They will be MySpace heroes.
Your music has been described as "So heavy it hurts." What’s the greatest hurt you've received from your music?
Getting hit in the forehead with a guitar, I bled for hour and hours, blinded to some.
What’s the greatest misconception about your band?
We eat cheese.
What’s the mellowest artist you’re into and why?
Barry Manilow 'cause the name just sounds mellow and he looks higher than s--t.
Ever been arrested?
Yeah, for third degree food stamp fraud, inciting a group felching at a Kid Rock and Tommy Lee fight, farting in the pool, choking a chicken in public and last but not least, second degree assault in a drive-by shoeing. I threw a shoe at some bloke while riding my bike. Oh yeah, and once at band camp for smoking grass -- we had no weed.
And if you think that was weird:
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