“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.” — Hunter S. Thompson
Nary a day, nor an hour goes by that I do not receive an email, a MySpace message, or some other form of communicado asking (sometimes pleading) what (if any) suggestions or advice I might have for a band, artist or poet just starting out and hoping for some perceptive form of success.
I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask, but, I am honored some of you feel strongly enough to place your trust in my aggressively eccentric mind and I will answer to the best of my abilities.
So… you want to be a professional artist of some sort, eh? (Wow, I hope that doesn’t read as trite to you as it does to me. Why did I just start composing an infomercial? Ye gods, I must be losing my mind exposing an inner dialogue in an open blog like this. Maybe it’s the wine. Or the somas I take for a neck injury. Or maybe it’s the electrolyte imbalance I may (or may not) be experiencing from the three mile run I did today. Ah, what does it matter? I’m sure most of you have stopped reading by now — so I can type whatever I want here. I’ll prove it. Here’s an example of the Fibonacci numbers: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987…. And now I will elaborate on the Golden Mean and its relation to the organic geometry of nature…. But wait, maybe you haven’t stopped reading and I am looking a bit foolish just about now. So be it. At least I’m having a little giggle over this. Yeah, it’s gotta be the wine. Or the somas. Or the electrolyte deficiency. Three miles is no joke. Okay, but you’re not here to read about jogging or electrolytes or somas. Or maybe you are. Well, my friend, if so then you’re reading the wrong entry. This one is about the mighty hydra of art. Maybe next week I will write about those other things. Probably not, but I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Hmm, maybe Fibonacci — but not this entry. Okay, enough of that. Indeed. Back to the meat.)
“If it doesn’t come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don’t do it — If you’re doing it for money or fame, don’t do it. If you’re doing it because you want women in your bed, don’t do it — If it’s hard work just thinking about doing it, don’t do it — If you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. If it never does roar out of you, do something else.”
— Charles Bukowski
First, remove all cloaks and comforts of sanity. Toss them aside, soak the pile in kerosene, drop a match and burn it to sooty ash! You won’t be needing wisdom, logic, reason, prudence or any other rational faculty. And why would you? The art world is run by simians and swine! Do you think beasts such as these (that root in filth and eat their own excrement) understand the language of lucidity? Absurd! What you need to get your head around is that you will be encumbered and embedded with a bloated herd of talentless know-it-alls, nincompoops, ninnies, and dunderheads that all suffer from an extreme poverty of self-esteem. So, they swaddle themselves in silken Kiton armor, John Lobb loafers, 3G Wi-Fi Bluetooth enabled SMS digital gadgets, and study the “interwebs,” hoping to learn a few phrases from the language of the latest social meme! They feast on high holy plates of petty hubris lathered in a sweet glaze of saucy ego, and sip their generic wine while eagerly scanning the scandal rags for any mention of themselves and whichever rising starlet they took to a Laker game or wannabe celeb-utard they happen to be f—ing that week. Indeed, we are through the looking glass, Alice. No turning back now. Up is down, blue is green, the world is flat, and Jesus is a supply-side Republican. Do not doubt, just accept, know and plan your attack.
These are the sort of people who are afraid of their own shadow, who feed from what the mega-mammals kill and then surreptitiously take all the credit. Indeed. These are the order of vermin and teethy rodents that would sell their own children if it meant a better credit rating, got them out of their sub-prime mortgage, elevated their tax bracket or secured an exclusive book deal or a (minimum) 10 episode reality TV show.
To be clear, there are a few angels among them, but finding these pious rogues is difficult and dangerous. They know just how rare they are so their tastes and choices have become unbelievably exclusive — which, depending on which side of the knife you’re on, is both a blessing and a curse.
Gone are the days when making a difference makes a difference. For the vast majority, what compels them is the “bottom-line.” It’s a numbers game, just skim the surface, find something easy and quick and homogenized that reminds us of something else, then market it, brand it, (throw a little Auto-tune using the zero speed setting. HA!) and then deluge the world with it. If it fails, what do they care? The bucket is full of eager crustaceans fighting to get to the top. (But it’s not entirely their fault. They would be nothing if we didn’t keep eating the sewage they served and then beg for seconds. But I digress).
So, if you are thinking that just because you are suddenly a “professional” or “working” arteeest that you will be given the keys and password to gain access to a secret world of Libertines and Bohemian royalty, well my friend, you are sadly misguided. Prepare yourself for an endless frat party with better beer and worse jokes. The strange fruit that have stormed the walls and commandeered our beloved palace of creativity are mostly a silly lot of paramecium-brained gluttons and opportunists who know little of Art or her sweetly devastating nature. They care not for her tenets or discipline, all they know is that doing this “is cooler than flipping burgers.” Indeed. Here, here. So it is.
Sadly, it seems, we have become a nation of sickly spectators waiting for someone else to change the channel of our lives.
So yes, prepare yourself to continue your work, as you do now, alone and for the love of doing it. Only now, it might be harder because you have so many more plastic options open to you. Do you join the herd of talentless apes parading around pretending to be heirs of your soul and dictators of your opinion in the cult of personality? Or will you work even harder, scrutinize and embrace the search for intangible perfection? Will you take bigger chances, risk it all for the love and honor and majesty of imagination and creativity? Will you do it because you have to? Because you have no other choice? WELL?? WILL YOU??!
“I’m not like them, but I can pretend….” — Kurt Cobain
Sun Tzu said to “destroy your enemy from within.” Wise words. The smartest artists find a way to play the game and still win on their terms with integrity intact. So, never give up! Ambition and belief are powerful fuels for the journey. Embrace the obstacles, embrace the idea of conflict, know that you will be losing a battle here and there, but stay with it, ENJOY THE STRUGGLE (at least it will be interesting) , but continue to fight and (by all means) outsmart them. And don’t ever be afraid to evolve. We are creatures of change. Feed, breed, succeed. The branches on the mightiest trees extend higher and further because the roots grow deeper and deeper.
My own mantra is: Do more than expected, expect less than deserved, and fight for what’s yours. Either you are an artist or you’re pretending to be one. There’s no middle ground. It’s all or nothing.
Again, I’ve been asked, so here’s my thoughts, for what they’re worth. I’ll do my best not to be too generic.
Singers: Take care of your voice. It is a binary monster, both powerful and fragile. Take lessons if you can — diaphragmatic breathing, warm-up and cool-down exercises, proper muscular techniques, but swallow your pride and take the lessons. (If you can’t afford it or can’t find someone, then try searching YouTube. I’ve seen a few that aren’t complete shite). It might be awkward at first, but it will empower you in the long run. Yes, warm tea before, during, and after performing. Yes, silence is grand, difficult, but beneficial. No Smoking! And give a look to the Writers & Musicians section (below). This applies to you kindred heathens, too.
Writers: Read more than you write. Indulge your head with a lavishness of words, ideas, phrasings, metaphors! FEED YOUR SOUL! Then, write and write and write some more. Even when there’s nothing to say — write. Shake the clutter free, cut off the corruptible matter, and let the rivers flow! Give yourself permission to FAIL!! There’s an old adage that the floor should be covered in crumpled papers or you’re not doing it right. For me, the greatest satisfaction I have is finding that one word, that single phrase that will finish a piece and make it perfect. And don’t become a book on a shelf collecting dust. Get out, experience life. Take a walk, take a ride, do something you would normally never do. Absorb the world around you until your hand is screaming to write. Try to be original. Try to write something different each time. Don’t ever, ever become obvious.
Musicians: Practice. Listen. Practice. Listen. Study. Practice. Study. And did I mention, PRACTICE? Learn everything you can about your instrument. Listen to anyone and everyone (genre be damned!) that has mastered your instrument and plant those seeds in your fertile soil! And if you are rehearsing for a show — rehearse like you are performing! In your head, you should see the crowd you want in front of you. Lose yourself in your music. Let it guide you! And btw, yes, prior to any show, anxiety and nervousness are normal! Use that emotion to your advantage!
Painters & Visual Artists: Well, I’m no Picasso, but what the hell, I’m on a roll, and besides, visual art was the first medium to invade my consciousness. So here it is. Study the masters. Know their work, know who has braved the waters before us. Study contemporaries. Visit a museum or two. Maybe three. Check out local galleries and showings. There’s always going to be that one thing that hits the switch for you and suddenly BAM! — an entirely new labyrinth of expression opens and swallows you. Master your tools. Use unconventional methods. You, too, need not be obvious. Unless, of course, you are making some visual statement on the obviousness of being obvious, then yes, by all means, obvious yourself into oblivion. Otherwise, use your talents to turn the cog. Those who know, know.
Well, for what they’re worth, these are the simplest ethos I know. I’m sure there’s something I forgot and for that, I apologize. But, even if nothing I scribed here helps, just always remember that there should be no separation between art and life. There is only Art. There is only Life. For us, they are one in the same.
I hope this helps answer some of your questions. If any of you have anything to add, plz feel free to do so in the comments below.
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