Okay, we'll go along with the gag for the moment and imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger is the singer for thrash band Austrian Death Machine (after all, each of the songs on their debut Total Brutal is about one of his movies). The only problem is, when he delivers the between-song monologues, he sounds a little more like someone inpersonating Dana Carvey doing Hans (or Frans) on those "Saturday Night Live" "Pump You Up" sketches. No problem, the s--t's still funny (even though, as we just found out from some irate readers, the concept is not entirely original. See www.myspace.com/arnocorps).
Ahhnold's collaborator on the project is I Lay Dying's Tim Lambesis, who sings, errrrr, plays guitar, bass and drums. Guest contributions come from producer Jason Suecof (Crotchduster), Eyal Levi (Daath) and Nick Hipa (As I Lay Dying). Click More for the guest blog from Ahhnold.
Tim and I constantly have to do interviews for any and all types of publications. Sometimes it's me trying to keep fans informed at extremely-brutal-political-bodybuilding-action-stars.com or Tim doing an interview for terrible-taste-in-music-because-i'm-14-and-i-just-started-my-own-website.org. Either way, aspiring journalists or just plain music fans should be aware of these terrible questions that should never be asked in an interview.
One time Tim and Howard from Killswitch Engage sat down to do an interview together. The interviewer started by asking, "Okay, so which band are you in and what do you do in your band?" Well, the piece was about vocalists on tour together and we were backstage at an As I Lay Dying / Killswitch Engage show, so I just about reached across the table and strangled the interviewer. Secondly, I thought that maybe the interviewer knew which two bands were playing but wasn't sure which singer was which. A wave of forgiveness overtook me for second before I realized that Howard, apart from being one of the most iconic singers in modern metal, is black and bald while Tim is a white dude with long dark hair like a girly man. Talk about doing your research before conducting an interview!
The next question that got me to jump out of my gym shorts was when I overheard an interviewer ask "where does your band name come from?" Now I'm not trying to drive traffic away from HeadbangersBlog.com, but there is this little website called Wikipedia that has all the answers you could ever want to stupid questions like this. Also, if you can go to a band's website and find the answer in an FAQ section, then please don't ask the question.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that a good interview happens when the interviewer does a little bit of research before hand. I'd say the absolute minimum is going to the band's website and reading the bio and FAQs. As a fan of thrash music and all types of brutal music alike, I'd have to say that I would be extremely bummed out if I read an interview in which the writer asked James Hetfield what he does in his band.
Somewhat contradictory to my last point is the final dumb question that always frustrates me regardless of the interviewer's research. That question is "what are your biggest influences?" If I answer this question honestly then what I'm really going to answer is "my huge muscles, crushing people, the destruction of girly men, and saving the planet (again)." But the real answer that interviewers always want answered is, "what does your band sound like now and who do you plan on ripping off for your next album?" I know Tim listens to plenty of music that his bands sound nothing like, so I heard him answer the question honestly once where he got way too serious and bummed everyone out. No one wants to hear heartfelt answers these days. Lyrically, I know Tim is influenced by his faith, which no one wants to hear about. Musically, the honest answer is that he is motivated by terrible bands just as often as good ones. Whenever I hear most new modern metal CDs I start to think, "This CD sucks, but if I changed a few things it would be way better." So, when it's my turn to make music, then you can see how I've been influenced by knowing what not to do. In my opinion, a lot musicians are influenced by the fact that don't like most of what they hear.
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