Gorgoroth guitarist Infernus is in stable but serious condition in a Bergen, Noway hospital this evening after having been brutally assaulted by the band's former vocalist Gaahl who is currently being held by police. Reports are still sketchy, but according to one source, Gaahl tracked down Infernus at an abandoned laundromat and, following a heated verbal confrontation, the vocalist removed a spiked club from a laundry basket and threatened to strike Infernus. At this point, Infernus allegedly began mocking the name of Gaahl's new band, God Seed, and called Gaahl a pansy. Enraged, Gaahl swung the weapon at his former bandmate so hard that the nails lodged in Infernus' abdomen.
"I think Gaahl only wanted to threaten Infernus," said the source. "I don't think he planned to hit him, but when Infernus insulted him, Gaahl couldn't help himself."
After being struck, Infernus collapsed on the ground, and in order to remove the club, Gaahl had to plant his boot on the black metallist's chest and yank the handle.
As a pool of Infernus' blood spread across the floor, Gaahl allegedly rubbed both hands in it and then smeared the blood across his face and tongue. Seemingly energized, he struck Infernus' prone body three more times while whistling "Singin' in the Rain." Gaahl then giggled like a schoolgirl, put his bloodied weapon away and skipped out of the store and into the night. Neighbors, who saw Gaahl's face covered in blood, called the police and the vocalist was apprehended.
When his bandmate King ov Hell heard about what had happened, he laughed and growled, "APRIL FOOLS!"
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