When I first got started in this business back in 1985, there was considerable value in an album of recorded music, in and of itself. An LP or cassette was, at that time, the primary item a band could offer for sale, and certainly the most important connection they had with their fans. Record companies recognized this value by financing the recording process in legitimate studios, and they would see the project through each creative element until it hit the store shelves. More importantly, the band at hand would be focused primarily, if not entirely, on creating meaningful music.

Perhaps I was naïve then, but things have changed in the last twenty years. Now the recordings a band makes are considered “commercials” for concert ticket sales and merchandising.  Once the primary retail item, now a CD is a soundtrack for the branding of an artist. One could argue that the music business has always been this way, but certainly we live in a unique time when record companies require a percentage of proceeds from ticket sales and merchandising just to survive.

Is this necessarily a bad thing? The demand for music is higher than it has ever been. Ticket sales are up. Rock band t-shirts have become casual fashion for middle-class America in the Walmarts and Targets. But what does it say about our culture when an industry makes more money selling accessory junk than the music itself? When the measure of an artist is more about bounce rates and widget hits than it is about songs?

If the counter-culture in 1999 defied lip-syncing center-fold pin-ups dominating Billboard’s Top 10, in 2009 it has embraced the very same marketing strategies just to be heard. Now, record companies can only afford to be interested in artists that come to the table with their “brand” already put together. Artist development in the A&R departments is a thing of the past. It leaves one to wonder if bands like Judas Priest or Deep Purple could get a foot in the door in today’s climate. And that, I believe, is the tragedy of our time.

We can see the promise of a new era on the horizon - an era in which all artists are independent. Still, commercial success will continue to rely not only on talent and skill, but on visibility; and visibility will continue to rely on the “powers that be” behind an artist – capital, favors, and good ol’ fashioned grass roots campaigning. Kind of like a presidential election. But the paradigm will have shifted, and the new generation will never know or understand what we sacrificed in the process. Goodbye A &R, it was sweet knowing you.

In 1993 my band Prong released a record called Cleansing. It featured a song called "Snap Your Fingers ,Snap Your Neck". Who knew that 16 years later I would still be breaking my back doing Prong, and busting my ass, literally, on a weird diet called the "Master Cleanse."

You may have heard of this diet, fast, cleanse, whatever you want to call it. I heard about it years ago. I forget who I heard about it first from, but I do remember strippers talking about doing it. I guess they supplanted the fast when they couldn't find any meth. Anyway, it involves drinking a potion of fresh squeezed lemon juice mixed with grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper of all things. You drink this and only this, with an exception of a choice of laxatives and purified water, for a recommended minimum of days. There are different opinions on what this minimum is, some say 3 days, some say 10. Some do the cleanse for a month, which is really unbelievable. There are so many different opinions available online, and through word of mouth, about every facet of the cleanse. So I figured I'd add to the discussion. I figured it could be of interest from a rock musician's standpoint. One who has been around for over 20 years, experimented with every drug, drank with the best of them and has been addicted to nicotine on and off for 30 years. I've also had weight issues, been on fad diets before, and starved myself on purpose and incidentally, been awake for days at a time. I think some of this has actually helped in my success in conquering this cleanse. Yes, I have recently finished this affair.

There are some extraordinary claims as to the benefits of the cleanse. From major spiritual revelations, to adding sexual vitality. I've read some interesting proclamations relating the cleanse to Jesus' experiences in the desert ; the fast being related to all things enlightened. It's published that you'll be a better "partner" after the cleanse as well.

It's promised to be an amazing dieting system .Some claim to lose 25 pounds in 10 days. It kills fat. Some have lost 50, 60 pounds being on the cleanse for a month or so.

Much is said regarding how healthy the cleanse is. Apparently there is a major amount of mucus and bad fecal matter built up in one's system. This cleanse will rip all the bad stuff out of you and you'll be a new person. So one is prepared to be on the toilet and examine one's stool often. Supposedly, a lot of strange stuff is excreted . People say they've defecated things looking like aliens, others say long snakes, and I've read that others have let loose large crayon looking matter.

It's a cure for addicts too. From alcoholics to junk food abusers, you can be healed from doing the cleanse, it is reported. It's a cure for every kind of disease. Not just the one that Bill Wilson invented, but all of them. The cleanse is the "correction of all disorders".

And you will be happy doing it! You will not be hungry! You'll feel great! Just drink the potion and all hunger will subside. Amazing storage of energy will be unleashed. One is actually suggested by some to make sure all exercise in abundance while on the cleanse. You actually will want to. The lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper will give you all you need. It will pep you up. Don't drink too much though. Don't exceed the gallon and a half of lemonade maximum per day or the cleanse will lose its effect. The purified water you drink will fill in the gaps. You eventually will not look forward to drinking the lemonade and will simply enjoy the water, it is said.

Of course, one can't drink alcohol, nor even chew gum during the cleanse. One's cravings will subside, that's a fact. Nicotine in any form is not an option .Vitamin supplements are out of the question. Stan Burroughs, the master of the Master Cleanse, in his book published in the 1940's, says your cravings will change. You're not going to want what you used to want. So it is written : the chemical changes and the cleansing have a way of removing the craving and the many probably deficiencies. Thus the desire for the unnatural types of stimulants and depressants disappears. The usual cravings experienced and suffered in breaking away from drugs, alcohol, and tobacco no longer present themselves during and after this diet. It is truly a wonderful feeling to be free from slavery to these many habit-forming and devitalizing elements of modern living. Coffee, tea, and various cola drinks, as habit-forming beverages, also lose their appeal through the marvels of the lemonade diet.

I remember now. The strippers really heard about this deal originally from Beyonce on Oprah, like 6 years ago or something. That's where this came back into fashion. She said she lost something like 40 pounds on the Master Cleanse. She also said that unless you are preparing for a role in a movie she didn't recommend the cleanse as a dieting tool.

I have to agree with Beyonce.

Before I start my statements on the preceding claims let me say this. I started this cleanse because a friend of mine was bragging that he did it for 10 days and he looks great and he feels great and all the other stuff he read came to fruition. I felt challenged.

But ironically it was the perfect time for me to start this diet. I was in the process of having major dental work done. So I was restricted from solid foods and from drinking alcohol due to the antibiotics. I quit smoking two years ago but moved to smokeless tobacco but now was in the third week of cold turkey off the Skoal. So, now I could ease into the cleanse. I would lose some weight, get spiritual, reinforce the change in my habits, prove I'm capable of abstinence and be example of all the promises made by the Master Cleanse, it's founder and followers.

It's just too bad everyone is different. But I do agree with Beyonce. There are a lot easier ways to lose weight. Or may I say, better ways to lose weight. Like exercise, a lot, on a normal, regular diet.( You know the USDA or whatever recommended 3 meals a day lots of corn and wheat diet).Or just stay on the drinkers diet. Vodka martinis and steaks, no potatoes, nothing else. Or the trailer trash diet. Get some stuff they are snorting or smoking, pull apart your desktop, put it back together and stay up for a week, you'll cut some weight, diet. I lost about 11 pounds in 11 days on the Master Cleanse( I had to go one day more than my friend). Like most diets, as soon as you drink a few beers and have a slice of pizza, you're back to what you were before. The thing is with this diet, even when you are finished with the term, you have to ease yourself back on solid food. Day one and two after the fast, orange juice only. Let me tell you, I am a stickler for instructions, and usually do things by the book, but this didn't cut it for me. As far as the loss for cravings promise goes, that's non-applicable here. The first thing I wanted to do after starving myself for 11 days and being absolutely miserable was to get f-ing wasted. I wanted to celebrate the end of this masochistic experience. I was tired already of watching the Dodgers while having to drinking this lemonade. I've heard "Oh noooo!, you're gonna get sick it you don't slowly go back to regular food and start drinking booze and whatnot". Not true. I bought 40 dollars worth of high gravity Eastern European imported beer and drank a s--t load on day 12 (along with the orange juice). And I was fine.

There was nothing weird about my bowel movements during the cleanse. All the reports of extra terrestrial emissions were anticipated but unfounded. Yes, I was surprised at how much time I spent on the toilet considering the non existence of solid intake. But the fecal matter looked like fecal matter. There were no surprises.

My cravings didn't miraculously subside.40 years of conditioning is not going to be wiped away by 11 days of abstinence, I don't think anyway/Like I said. I wanted a drink most of the time during the cleanse. The tobacco thing I sort of kicked before I did the cleanse, but the cleanse almost made me want to get some chewing tobacco again. Something, anything to put in my mouth other than the damn lemonade and water.( I'm talking consumables here). I smelled coffee and I was completely enthralled with the scent, wanting a cup immediately. But one thing I did notice was that my cravings for food did change. Vegetables did become more appealing. The Carl's Junior commercials meant nothing to me. I wanted a stalk of celery or a dish of babaganoush. I may believe that we don't really need that much animal protein to survive. With all the starvation and lack of what we have been told in nutrients, I really had enough energy to be fine. Not a hell of a lot of strenuous activity could have been accomplished, but I was okay. I rehearsed with Prong and played guitar with in the studio for the new Danzig without pain. I did feel unclogged. I could breathe easier. But there wasn't an over abundance of energy.

The cleanse was definitely not beneficial to my sexual performance. But that's a tough job for even the best of late night or infomercial products. Over 40 is over 40.

I don't feel I'm any closer to God. But the spiritual advantages are more for you prove to yourself that you can do something like this. As overblown, goofy and trendy as it may be.
If anything in life that I've noticed about others is this; people exaggerate. They become fanatical. It keeps people interested and enthused about their own lives. You can't listen to them . You have to try it out yourself. to what is really true for you.

Hello, my name is JD DeServio from Black Label Society and Cycle of Pain, and I'm an addict --a sports addict!

I've always been way into sports and my teams (New York Rangers, New York Giants, New York Mets, New York Knicks).

I remember one time back in '99 I was playin' a show with Black Label Society during the baseball playoffs, and we could see some televisions in the club from the stage. I’m a huge Mets fan, and they lost the game, so I started kickin' the monitor and f--kin' cursin' and s--t, and my tech came runnin' out to me, thinking my s--t was f--ked up. I pointed to the TV! "F--kin' Mets suck!" I said. Zakk Wylde’s laughin' at me 'cause he's a Yankee fan! That led to my drinking problem!!

I’ve got my rollerblades, gloves, sticks, and pucks with me on tour!!! I'll be playin' hockey at the venue during the day of the show and pissin' people off constantly! It’s beautiful!!

I have Slingbox and a DVR through my cable company, so I'll tape my games and avoid human contact 'til I watch 'em! Seriously, I'm out of my f--kin' mind when it comes to sports! Just ask anybody!!!

Cycle of Pain's self-titled record will come out on April 21 and features guest performances by guitarist Zakk Wylde, drummer Ray Luzier (Korn), Cypress Hill rapper Sen Dog, Fear Factory vocalist Burton C. Bell, Symphony X singer Russell Allen and others.

Cannibal Corpse bassist and songwriter Alex Webster has obviously heard tons of comparisons between his band and other death metal acts, including ex-vocalist Chris Barnes' group Six Feet Under and vocalist George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher's former band Monstrosity. He has probably also taken part in at least a few heated conversations about which musicians are better than other musicians. In his first guest entry for HeadbangersBlog.com, Webster addresses why metal fans feel inclined to rank their favorites and why he has determined that such discussions are completely irrelevant.

As long as I've been a fan of music, I've always heard arguments about which band is the best, which musician is the best and so on. When I was young, these arguments would be among friends or maybe presented in a magazine by a writer, and of course now you can find them all over the internet. It's pretty hard not to run into a "who's the best" type argument on any music website that has a forum or allows comments.

This is obviously a discussion many of us enjoy, but is there really any way to win this argument? I don't think music can be measured in the same way you measure competitive activities like sports. Music is an art form, and every individual is going to appreciate and enjoy music differently, as is the case with any type of art. I mean, I don't follow art, but I'd have to assume that there aren't a lot of debates over how "Dali is better than Picasso" or whatever. Each individual likes the art he likes and that's that; there's no competition going on.

So, if we all know that music is art and not a competitive sport, where did all of these arguments come from? I’m not sure I know the answer, but I have an idea, particularly when it comes to metal, which is a very physical form of music that requires skills that canbe measured. For example, if a drummer can't play certain beats at a certain tempo, he's not going to be effective as a death metal drummer. The practice it takes for a drummer to reach that level is certainly similar to the training of a competitive athlete. The physical demands of playing any instrument at a high level require a commitment and dedication that I think most athletes would recognize and appreciate.

But these physical demands are where the similarities end in my opinion. In sports, the winner of a competition is generally clear (unless the ref sucks). Somebody scored more points, ran faster, jumped higher. The winner is the best man or woman (or team) on that particular day. Music on the other hand has no measurable "winner." Of course, you can, for example, measure the beats-per-minute a guitarist executed an arpeggio at, but you can't measure the effect it had on the listener. If one musician makes music that you love and another doesn't, speed or technique may or may not have had anything to do with that. If you prefer music made by the slower of the two, there's no arguing your taste, because what you enjoy is your personal choice. You can effectively argue about who is the faster player, but not really about who makes better music.

So, the arguing about which band or musician is better than the other is probably fueled by our appreciation for their athletic skills as players, as well as by our misconception that the greater the skill, the better the music. On top of that, music fans are very passionate and opinionated about our individual tastes, which creates perfect conditions for some truly heated debates. As to how this relates to metal in particular, well, music fans are probably as dedicated to their favorite artists as sports fans are to their favorite teams, and what music fans are more dedicated to their genre than metal fans? None that I know of. Combine that dedication with the extremely physical nature of our music and it's no surprise that the metal community is rife with sports-like debates about "who's the best." Is it a pointless argument? Probably, but it also shows just how important metal is to all of us.

So, having thought this over a bit now, I think I might have an answer to the original question. Who's the best? Your favorite band is, that's who, and don't let anyone try and convince you otherwise.

I’m writing this from 33,000 feet where I’m being shaken like a baby by an abusive father, like a heroin addict going through withdrawal, like an alcoholic on the way to work -- YOU GET THE F--KICK POINT!

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate flying with a passion, but that I have to do it a hell of a lot -- Waaaaay too much for someone that hates it. This hate isn’t new. I've been this way since I saw that movie “Alive” when I was 13 years old. No joke. Somehow, that stupid movie about soccer-playing cannibals made me have near-anxiety attacks every single time I stepped foot on an airplane.

Just to illustrate how bad it is, I go through a mental death ritual where I come to terms with the fact that I’m about to die -- EVERY TIME! And I do this all the time. Oh, and try hanging out with me the night before a flight. A few have done so, and can testify that I'm a nervous wreck. You really think that I would get used to it by now.

There’s ways to calm it. On my flight to the first show of my first European tour ever, the other guitarist in the band and I stood at the back of the plane and basically emptied out their entire wine collection. That’s one way to handle it. But ever since “air rage” has become an issue, the airlines have become none too sympathetic towards people that just wanna get trashed on a flight! I swear that if you let me, I’m not going to start any fights or try to open the door to the outside or charge the cockpit. I’m a peaceful and happy drunk. All it would do is chill me the f--k out. But that’s not really too much of an option anymore. Plus, they charge New York prices and I’m not about to pay that when drinking has become something I typically do for free or real cheap.

Doctors have recommended drugs like Ativan, Xanax, and Valium for me. I’ve tried 'em all. I basically have to take an elephant's dose just to feel like a normal human being. I will take so much that I'm in a haze and falling asleep before the plane even pushes back and starts to taxi. Sounds like the solution, right? NO! The moment the engines rev for takeoff I am AWAKE! It doesn’t matter how much of those drugs I take, the moment we’re speeding down the runway my adrenaline kicks in and life starts to suck.

So why do I hate it so much? There's something about hurtling through the air at 500 miles-per-hour in a pressurized metal tube that just doesn’t feel right to me. In fact, it feels wrong. It feels wrong that I have to trust these pilots and mechanics. If the airline industry is anything like what I’ve seen in every other facet of life, people just don’t give a f--k. What if the mechanic who worked on your plane is going through a divorce, just started drinking and is letting his problems spill over into his work? What if your pilot is an egomaniac who decides he’s man enough to fly you through that storm? What if your air traffic controller just cant handle the stress anymore and loses it while directing your flight in. Add about 100 of your questions to that list and you’ll begin to see where I’m coming from. That said, my hatred for this form of travel will never stop me from living life the way I want and that involves a shiteload of travel. Guess I’m f--ked.

Daath's third album, The Concealers, comes out April 21. The band recently filmed a video in Atlanta with director Rubin Fuller for the track "Day Of Endless Light."

When you pose for publicity photos like tongue-in-cheek metal band Psychostick in the above shot, maybe sex, drugs and fame aren't really an option. But that seems to be just fine with guitarist Josh Key, who titles his HeadbangersBlog.com guest entry, "Screw the Sex, Drugs and Fame... We Tour for Food." Click "more" to read what the dude's got on his plate.

Among my life's accomplishments, I'd have to put "eating a lobster in Maine" near the top of that list. Having read that, I'm sure you're thinking, "Damn, that must have been a good lobster!"

It was damn good.

But there's more to this accomplishment than just the food. For me, there are numerous philosophical and spiritual layers to the significance of eating that Maine lobster:

1. I grew up in Texas. I never thought I'd actually ever go to Maine. The impossible became reality.
2. How many people will live their lives without having a Maine lobster? I am truly fortunate.
3. Because they live there, Maine people just call them simply "lobster."
4. According to quantum mechanics, did the lobster (or Maine) ever truly exist until I was there to observe it?
5. Mmmmm.... lobster.

For the rest of this blog, I'll focus on the concepts in #5 -- but first, the lobster story.

We were touring and had just crossed the Maine state line for the first time. I called my parents back in Texas to say, "Guess where I'm at right now?"

Upon hearing that I was in Maine, my Dad gave me an epic request. "Josh," he said in all seriousness. "You have to go eat a Maine lobster for me."

I can't imagine that I would feel any different if I was in a mythical medieval battle, and my father, having just been mortally wounded by a dragon, handed me his sword of five family generations and said, "My son, you must slay this dragon! For the good of the land!"

Not only did I fulfill this request, but it became abundantly clear to me that I was destined to use touring as a chance try to all kinds of food that I would not have had otherwise. In fact, I have given myself a personal mission: To find the greatest burger, pizza taco, burrito and salsa and the greatest local best-kept-secret hole-in-the-wall joints that kick your face in with tasty goodness.

Imagine the best of Kansas City barbecue squaring off with the best of Texas barbecue!; the best slice of New York pizza versus the best slice of Chicago-style pizza! Such earth-shaking battles shall be had for the ultimate prize of my thumbs-up approval. If you want to help me in this endeavor, post your absolute best restaurant recommendations on our MySpace page or our website

It's no secret that Psychostick love food. Our new CD is called Sandwich, for god sake. After making many rounds of the country and eating at many different places, we've kind of developed an unspoken system of "understood" places that we automatically go eat at if we are in that city or area. Here's the formula for that unspoken rule:

"When in/near ________, go eat at ________"

...and a few examples.

1. Chicago, IL - Lou Malnati's
2. Jacksonville, FL - Sorbello's
3. Odessa, TX - Garibaldy's
4. Laguna, NM - Laguna Burger
5. Kansas City - Smokehouse Barbecue
6. Dallas, TX - Freebird's
7. San Diego, CA - JV's Taco Shop

We also have certain restaurant chains that are also undisputed "We're going there" places. This is a more spontaneous rule than above. The formula is a variation on the previous, and it looks like this:

If we are hungry, and we pass a ________, we eat there.

1. Jimmy John's
2. Del Taco
3. Bob Evan's
4. Chipotle
5. Perkin's
6. Friendly's
7. Any Mongolian Barbecue

I should mention though, that there was a time when we came across a Jimmy John's and a Chipotle right next to each other. Loyalties were torn, wills were tested... it was pretty ugly. In the end, some of us went to one, some of us went to the other. Of course, in all reality, a Jimmy John's and a Chipotle right next to each other is really a "good problem." It's kind of like having to choose between $10,000 or a blowj-- from every waitress in a Hooters. You win either way.

Finally, I wanted to throw in that we unexpectedly got free food one time for talking about a restaurant called Garibaldy's in an interview for a local magazine in Odessa, Texas. We went in to eat at that Garibaldy's, and the manager showed us the article and said, "Order whatever you want!" It was a beautiful day.

That's why I was sure to plug plenty of places here in this blog in hopes that we have a repeat of that incident. Let it be known that if you happen to manage or own an awesome restaurant, we'd be more than happy to sample a free meal to give you our incredibly valuable opinion. And if you can't do that, then go to our show and buy a shirt so we can afford to eat more delicious food.

The debut album by Los Angeles industrial rock album, The Bull, which features a recontextualized cover of Danzig's "Mother," came out on Tuesday, and that's reason enough for us to invite the band's frontman Stacey Quinealty to write us a guest blog.

Considering the unchained, hedonistic vibe of the album, we expected something about rocking, partying and getting arrested. Instead, Quinealty checked in with a thoughtful essay about the struggle between man and machine that grows worse with the advancement of technology. Click "more" to read the guest blog and stream the full album.

As I sit here contemplating the growing success of our band, Carbon 9, many thoughts spring to mind. I question who am I and how I got to this point in my life? Where am I really headed and what can I do to control my own fate? I do not believe there is a direct pre-programmed path in life. I think it's more like there's a hallway with many doors that we are given the option to walk in, peek in, or simply skip over. There is one thing that I have always made a point to express in C9, and is the backbone to all of our live shows.

I ask one simple question, "Are we human, or are we machines?" This is a very valid question, indeed. Sure, we are all functioning in a living, breathing, human body, yet I feel as if we are constantly being programmed by many entities to collectively operate as a single machine -- whether those forces are the media, our educational system, religious affairs, politics, corporate conglomerates, people on the street or my very own laptop computer. People in villages use to have their own culture, language, taste of food, style of dress, etc… Eventually, the differences between neighboring villages grew into similarities, and those regions became territories then cities, then empires, and now global parts of the planet. You can bet everything that there will be a "One World Order, the New World Order". For this is a given.

In regards to our own modern society, communication is at an all-time high with the use of mobile technology and the internet. And although these are magnificent times, I ask what is happening to the simple form of the human? There seems to be an inverse relationship between the advancement of technology and the decline of humanity. As technology speedily increases, humanity decreases at the same alarming rate. There is no compassion for life as a whole, but only towards the single individual and this is decreasing as well. It is so easy to text someone or shoot over an email, but we are losing the "face to face" human touch.

There is such a thing called energy that is transferred as we share with others in person. This energy is becoming stagnant and remains locked up inside of each individual. The transfer of this energy is what shapes us and gives us the wisdom to know which doors to open as we make our way down this hallway of life. We must not get caught up in technology, which, by the way, is only at its birth stage, and lose sight of what really matters in life. It is up to us as a whole to change the way we are being programmed. We actually don't need 97 percent of the things we are told that we must have. You need your heart, your soul, and the drive to make a difference. The sum of these three things will equate to your own creativity. There are only two root elements that exist in life. It is not good or evil, hot or cold, black or white. It is LOVE and FEAR.

Now, this may seem like a load of crap, but the reason I question all of this is because I sit here on my couch with my laptop via Wi-Fi in my networked home with my iPhone and four computers all running and interacting. I can barely remember how to make music without advanced technology, and if a disaster were to strike, the first thing I would grab would be my hard drives. Little good they would do if we were nuked. So, I do understand the dependence and necessity of technology. However, as I sit here contemplating which door I will open next, I feel as if should close a few others first.

It is time to hang out with the people you enjoy, it is time to write that story, it is time to paint that picture, it is time to create that song, it is time to dance that dance, or maybe it is time to learn something completely new. Whatever the case, it is time to create that moment in time! Dreams are dreams, but goals are realities. There is no virtual reality to advance you, there is only one reality and that is to experience the heartache, the pleasure, the pain, the joy, and the fortitude to lunge yourself forward. It is time to look deeper within ourselves as a collective society and break the programming that is controlling us. It doesn’t take a village anymore, it takes a planet, so get out and experience the world.

There are no limits anymore. Give your creative space permission to express itself and enter the doors in your hallway that may lead to something great. For me and many of you, music is our saving grace. The time has come to respect each other and appreciate the talents and gifts of every artist. As Darwin always says, "Stay true."

Most of us in the Red Fang camp have been watching "Headbangers Ball" since Riki Rachtman had hair. In the ate '80s, the show was a metalhead's only reason to live. Just saying the name brings back memories of betamax tapes with labels like “DON'T ERASE! WASP, SCORPS, MAIDEN...” Remember when Adam Curry used to host it? He would be chillin' with Tabitha Soren one minute talking about Wham or some s--t, then the next minute he would throw on some tight pants and talk about Megadeth -- as if the pants made him metal. I'm 99 percent sure that no self respecting rocker ever thought, "Well, I didn't think he was a real rocker, but he did have tight pants on..."

Okay, enough reminiscing, let's get down to business. The one complaint I consistently hear from other bands on the the road is how hard eating good can be. This is something I have never understood. During all the years I have been on the road with Red Fang, eating has never been a problem. Sure, if you're one of those people that likes fancy places where you get to hold the menu, you might have trouble, but a well seasoned crew such as the Fang laugh in the face of such hoity-toityness. Truck stops, gas stations, corner markets and even the occasional grocery store (if someone found some money on the ground or somethin') are chock full of all the fuel needed to keep this well lubricated machine on the road.

Over the last few weeks on the road I have been compiling the be all, end all, definitive guide to eating right on the road. What you are about to read could change your life... You're welcome.

Besides lunch and dinner, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so make it a good one. You can't go wrong with eggs and sausage:

Wash it down with a nice mug of gravy:

This should hold you over for an hour, maybe two, but remember what our drummer John Sherman always says. “You don't have to be hungry to eat.” Go ahead, snack, you're a growing boy/girl. Grab a three foot hunk of salty meat and start gnawin' like a coyote caught in a trap:

Now lunch time is coming up quick. My research has found that of all the foods on planet Earth nothing is better for you than the brown, shiny ones. Thankfully, there is what we refer to as “the beige buffet” at most major truck stops across America:

Look at it. You can see the vitamins oozing out. Amazing, truly amazing.

As far as the rest of the day is concerned, nothing should even be put near your face unless is contains parts of the pig usually reserved for occult rituals. Maybe start off at the house that Oscar M. built:

Then, before dinner, grab some cheese and crackers:

Check out that first ingredient. Ohhh yeaah, welcome to flavor country. ...And did you notice? That's right, 0% carbs, a little something I like to call a win-win situation.

The rest of the night is cruise control, do the same as you would at home: grab a forty of pickled bologna, a fork and just chill...

Maybe if you're feeling frisky, check out the fresh baked, low calorie stuff the dessert tray has to offer:

I don't know what all the complaining is about. This has been my diet for years and I feel great, except for the current tightness around my chest and pain shooting down my arm...
—Coyle

Tour To Live!

P.S. We're on tour with Early Man for the next month or so, check the dates here to find out if you could be the next winner of “Fang My House.” It's a thing that's sorta like "Pimp My Ride" but instead we sleep on your floor and drink all your beer. It's pretty awesome — for us.

On April 21, Atlanta band Daath will release their second album, The Concealers, which was produced and mixed by Jason Suecof and Mark Lewis (Trivium, DevilDriver). Before he gets tied up in promotions and touring, guitarist Eyal Levi wanted to start working with us on a new column, which he hopes to update with some frequency. Here's the first installment of "Jumping Darkness Parade."

I love music. I love the music business. Funny that people say they hate it so much. If it was so truly so bad they wouldn't be in it. True, there are lots of scumbags to deal with. Trust me. In my various pursuits in music I've encountered my share. I've fired plenty and I'm sure I will again. You can't avoid it. These are the bottom feeders.

When you're in small band like I am there's a whole section of the industry who is drawn to you because they feel like they can take advantage of how green you are. Hence, bottom feeders. Small bands are like the s--t at the bottom of a fishtank. So being that I'm in a small band, and have had so many run ins with scumbags then why do I still love the music business? Simple. Because I love music. I love bringing my music to people. Without the music business I wouldn't be able to do that on the level I'm doing it now.

There's a cliché about music which states that the music industry is the most relationship-driven industry in the world. I believe that's true. My most important breakthroughs on a business level have come through friends that I've made. Mind you, these are friends of mine. Not "contacts." Contacts are just people outside your inner circle and they're great to have. But what you really need are true friends and a wide support network. Even if the relationships were formed around making money, the friendships that have resulted have been completely real.

It seems like the complaints about "the biz" are mainly from people who would complain no matter what line of work they were in. Do you think they would love their cubicle jobs? Think they'd really dig their job at the grocery store or get along famously with all their fellow construction workers? Or what about people in upper level business jobs in the corporate world. What world is not rife with scumbags and villains? People are people no matter what industry you're in. In the music industry at least you get to party with the people you work with and maybe you aren't BFFs for life, but at least you're throwing down.

I'm going to complain for a second. Here goes. I f--king hate complaining and I feel that people in this business complain too goddamn much.

Right now, EyeHateGod frontman Mike IX Williams, one of the founders of the NOLA heavy metal scene, is probably slumped in a corner somewhere sleeping off the decadence and debauchery of last night's Mardi Gras celebration, and in just a few hours he'll start preparing for tonight's braincell-popping party.

Actually, the week-long alcohol imbibing, breast-baring bacchanalia of Mardi Gras is maybe only slightly more extreme than Williams' daily lifestyle, but it offers the perfect timing for the vocalist's guest blog about the tenacity and resilience of New Orleans and its thriving metal scene. Click more to read on.

August 29, 2005 is a day that will live on infamously in the minds and lives of all of those folks near and around the ever receding and fragile wetlands of the southern Gulf Coast of the U.S. Most affected was the population here in my lovely, filthy, hedonistic city of New Orleans, a.k.a. the 'City that Care Forgot.' Our 'Big Easy' was the victim of a gigantic natural disaster that you may have possibly heard of, an ominous equal opportunity death machine known affectionately as Hurricane Katrina.

You've all seen the footage so there's no need to throw a pity party and go into statistical detail. We all know the news coverage of the storm of the century has solidified popular opinion that the tragedy was a public embarrassment of infinite perportion. But in actuality, there's been hardly anything -- if anything at all -- reported about what's brewing artistically deep beneath the CNN sound bites and much repeated pull quotes.

I'm talking about the resurrection, the rising of N'Awlins as a recognized musical breeding ground, ripe and practically bleeding fresh new talent in an ever surging mixed-bag underground. Every new band that has hatched out of the chaos, destruction, and government ineptitude is a tribute to the diehard perseverance of the inhabitants of the region.

I'd like to focus on what it takes to dig out of a literal hell hole that was obviously created by nature, but addled and twisted by humans into a far more devastating situation, and discuss the heart and spirit it takes to return home and rebuild not only our lives and homes, but our precious rock n' roll scene as well. There's a saying that goes if it was created by man, you can solve it by man, and the desire to pick up a guitar, crank the distortion and scream propaganda into a microphone is ingrained into the human psyche. It's an animal instinct I believe all of us possess. And in this stressed out alcoholic utopia of a city, we have done just that

The clock has been reset simply by bringing the only art we know, mainly heavy punk, hardcore and metal to the forefront. That's what makes the hourglass in a metropolis like us tick, and tick we do. Heavy and different has always been Southern Louisiana's calling card and in the wake of Katrina, or 'Post-K' as the new term has evolved and come to be known, the bands that survived the flood and the bands that were born from the looting and wreckage are vast and diverse - a little bit from column "A" and a little bit from column "B". Here's a shortened master list of the previously foreshadowed outfits: Pallbearers, Haarp, Face First, Die Rotzz, Flesh Parade, Bastard Sons, Varg Wulf, Star of Kaos, Arson Anthem, Quintron, A Hanging, Black Rose Band, Phantoms, Tire Fire, Brickwar, Innermost, Blowermotor, Devil and the Sea, Drysocket, Suplecs, Black Snow, Morning 40 Federation, Catholicon, The Bills, Snake Oiler, Sufferstream, Dusk Rapist, Hollywood Blues, Spickle, Mudd Piggs, Hawg Jaw, We Need to Talk, Hellkontroll, Barghest, Thou, Big Baby, Fat Stupid Ugly People.

And of course, there are the more established, road-worthy units like Crowbar, Outlaw Order, Soilent Green, Graveyard Rodeo, EyeHateGod, and Down, all of which will be here 'til death.

To this very day, the list goes on and on -- and so does the murder rate. Please go out and support the New South and seek out these bands and decide for yourself according to personal taste which ones are for you. But at the very least, and at the risk of blathering further as a representative of "The Struggle," I want you all to know the fire and passion that burns in each and every one of our local and misplaced residents and realize that you can't kill a city. We ain't goin' nowhere!

Check these sites out:
www.noladiy.org
www.nolaunderground.com
www.paranoizenola.com
www.myspace.com/nolanine