After listening to the soldiers in Queensryche's new video "If I Were King" talk about the horrors of war, it's refreshing to hear the Swedish Viking metal dudes of Amon Amarth proclaiming the glory of an era of swords, shields and battle in "Guardians of Asggard."

Of course, back in those days, soldiers weren't stepping on landmines, being killed by car bombs or getting riddled with terrorist bullets, so maybe there was more to celebrate. Then again, if you were one of the unfortunate ones whose head wound up decorating the spikes of a castle gate, you didn't have a whole lot to be thankful for. In any case, click "more" to check out the video.

Guardians Of Asgaard ft. LG Petrov

The band consists of vocalist and guitarist Lord Phallus (a.k.a. Crow), guitarist Bane Ass-Pounder, bassist King Sith, drummer Braindeath and keyboardist Loki Sinjuggler who write songs with titles like "Beneath the Valley of the Island of Misfit Toys" and "Kegrath the Dragon Killer." And Goblin Cock take the stage in hooded Grim Reaper outfits so their faces are always covered. In addition, their videos are filled with fantasy imagery, psychedelic swirls and other metal cliches. Yet, despite the overwhelming evidence that Goblin Cock are just a bunch of indie twits making fun of metal, in reality they're not laughing at metal at all, they're laughing with it. Their songs are doomy and melodic, with riffs as sludgy and delicious as chocolate fudge, and they clearly have great fondness for bands like Black Sabbath, Blue Cheer, Pentagram, St. Vitus, Cathedral and Kyuss. If that's not proof enough that these guys mean business, the first line on their MySpace page reads, "GOBLIN COCK IS NOT A JOKE BAND, GODDAMMIT!!!"

Of course, their MySpace also features a bio that includes copy that could have come from a GWAR tour program:

"Goblin Cock is a band from beyond time, beyond space, beyond your naive concept of dimension in METAL. Since before your pathetic "god" had supposedly "created" you and your kind, Lord Phallus was hunkered in a cybertimeship/fun dungeon skating the layers of what was considered "true metal" in all societies and in all generations. Eventually His Majesty realized that he really didn't care and launched a full-scale war against bland metal with and emphasis on ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME!"

Discounting all the "beyond time," "cybertimeshihp" and "true metal" crap, in the final analysis the last five words say it all; Unlike many doom bands, Goblin Cock are "actually having a good time" with metal. For proof, check out these studio videos of "We've Got a Bleeder" from the recently released Come With me if you Want to Live and "Stumped" from 2005's Bagged and Boarded and a live clip of "Loch" from the new disc.

"We've Got a Bleeder"

"Stumped"

Goblin Cock - Loch