When we were young, we once saw an advertisement for a concert featuring Slayer, Venom and Exodus at the disco club Studio 54 in New York City. At the time we thought this was the heaviest, most insane metal bill ever conceived. Of course, that was 1985, and since then band after band have redefined the very definition of heavy, Since then, we've seen Possessed rip it up with Dark Angel, and we've watched Napalm Death, Carcass and Morbid Angel tear it up together on an Earache showcase, not to mention Deicide sharing a bill with, Obituary, Malevolent Creation and Cannibal Corpse.

But of all the total brutality we've witnessed onstage and in the pit, the upcoming Mayhem tour might be the most colossal to ever sweep the States. The Norwegian church burners, who hang dead pig heads atop stakes during their show, will be sharing a bill with Swedish black metallists Marduk, animal rights activists and humanity haters Cattle Decapitation, extreme, offbeat grind-jazz band Cephalic Carnage and U.S. black metal band Withered. We're kinda hoping the animal abusers of Mayhem will clash horns with the misanthopic meat loathers of Cattle Decapitation and we'll have a genuine metal beef on our hands to rival all the incendiary hip-hop drama and diss tracks. Get your front row seat now.

The tour launches May 21 in New York and runs through June 15 in Montreal, Quebec, where Mayhem members may find it's harder to sneak severed animal parts across the border than they realize. Hopeully, Cattle Decapitation won't face similar problems with their organic tofu.

While you're feeling the spirit, check out our recent podcast interview with Cattle Decapitation. And keep on the lookout in the coming weeks for our debut for the new video for "Regret and the Grave," which comes from their new album The Harvest Floor.

Now, watch these videos:

Swedish melodic metal band Soilwork have released a video for the song "20 More Miles," the second clip from their latest album, Sworn to a Great Divide, which came out in 2007.

The video was recorded by Olle Carlsson during the band's recent world tour, and features footage from Australia, Japan Russia and Malaysia. Soilwork's North American tour with Darkane, Warbringer and Swallow the Sun launches January 30 in Rochester, New York. Click "more" to watch the video.

SOILWORK - 20 More Miles

Last week, Doc Coyle, guitarist for God Forbid, told us that his band was lined up for what he called "one of the biggest tours this year," but he wouldn't tell us the other groups involved. And when we asked if the headliner rhymed with Slam of Mod he said, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Starting April 2, God Forbid will, indeed, hit the road with Slam of Mod -- err, Lamb of God. God Forbid will actually be in a rotating support slot with Municipal Waste. Direct support on the bill will come from As I Lay Dying and Children of Bodom. Not a bad way to spend a romantic spring evening.

The No Fear Energy Music Tour will launch April 2 in Phoenix, Arizona and will run through May 15 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Click "more" for dates and videos.

No Fear Energy Music Tour
April 2, 2009 – Dodge Theater – Phoenix, AZ
April 3, 2009 – Palladium – Los Angeles, CA
April 4, 2009 – Events Center – San Jose, CA
April 5, 2009 – Crest Theater – Fresno, CA
April 7, 2009 – Paramount – Seattle, WA
April 8, 2009 – UBC Thunderbird Arena – Vancouver, BC
April 10, 2009 – Shaw Conference Center – Edmonton, AB
April 11, 2009 – The Coral – Calgary, AB
April 12, 2009 – Praireeland – Saskatoon, SK
April 13, 2009 – Convention Centre – Winnipeg, MB
April 14, 2009 – City Auditorium – Thunder Bay, ON
April 16, 2009 – Ricoh Coliseum – Toronto, ON
April 17, 2009 – Cepsum – Montreal, QC
April 18, 2009 – Palladium – Worcester, MA
April 19, 2009 – Electric Factory – Philadelphia, PA
April 21, 2009 – LC Pavillion – Columbus, OH
April 22, 2009 – Tabernacle – Atlanta, GA
April 23, 2009 – Blackham Coliseum – Lafayette, LA
April 24, 2009 – Verizon Theatre – Houston, TX
April 25, 2009 – Concrete St. Ampthitheatre – Corpus Christi, TX
April 26, 2009 – Palladium Ballroom – Dallas, TX
April 28, 2009 – Fillmore – Denver, CO
April 29, 2009 – Uptown Theater – Kansas City, KS
April 30, 2009 – Myth – St. Paul, MN
May 1, 2009 – Congress Theater – Chicago, IL
May 2, 2009 – The Pageant – St. Louis, MO
May 3, 2009 – Egyptian – Indianapolis, IN
May 5, 2009 – Expo Five – Louisville, KY
May 6, 2009 – Fillmore Theater – Detroit, MI
May 8, 2009 – Roseland Ballroom – New York, NY
May 9, 2009 – Convention Center – Asbury Park, NJ
May 11, 2009 – Rams Head Live – Baltimore, MD
May 12, 2009 – House of Blues – Boston, MA
May 13, 2009 – Washington St. Armory – Albany, NY
May 14, 2009 – TBD
May 15, 2009 – House of Blues – Myrtle Beach, SC

The WTF story of the day goes to mask-wearing metal terrorists Slipknot and Dragonfly-riding prog-rockers Coheed and Cambria, which will tour together in the new year. And if we're interpreting the symbols correctly, this is certainly one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. Trivium will open the show and, perhaps, assume the role of lukewarm water between the fire and ice iconoclasts.

It may actually be a good career move for Trivium since, if Armageddon doesn't arrive, there seems to be a pretty good chance Slipknot's fans will greet Coheed with nasty epithets and flying projectiles, and Coheed will have to leave the tour for something less dangerous, like a jaunt with Nickelback or Hannah Montana. In either case, come mid-February all three bands will be able to say they played Madison Square Garden, which makes for a great pickup line, whether you're in a biker bar, emo coffee house or metalcore club.

The 33-date Slipknot/Coheed and Cambria/Trivium head-scratcher run will launch on January 23 in St Paul, Minnesota. Dates run through March 11 in Sacramento, California.

Now, here are videos from all three bands:

The unholy German triumvirate of Kreator, Destruction and Sodom helped bridge thrash metal between the U.S. and the rest of the world in the mid '80s and also injected the music with a new level of savagery. Obviously Slayer, Exodus and (early) Metallica were extremely heavy, but their German counterparts were even more raw and unhinged -- less musically accomplished, but decidedly more evil sounding.

While all three bands have been through various lineup shifts since their inception, they continue to tour and record. In fact, Destruction released a new album, D.E.V.O.L.U.T.I.O.N. on August 22 and Kreator's new disc, Hordes of Chaos, drops on January 13. But where's Sodom?

The group's last album, The Final Sign of Evil, wasn't completely new; it was a re-recording of their debut 1984 EP, In the Sign of Evil, along with seven previously unreleased songs written during that era. The disc featured the return of original members Josef Dominic (a.k.a. Grave Violator) and drummer Chris Dudek (a.k.a. Witchhunter). Sadly, Witchhunter died in September, but he was actually in poor health when the project began and, before that, he hadn't played with Sodom since 1992's Tapping the Vein.

We'd love to see some kind of massive German Devastation tour featuring all three bands, but according to Pollstar.com,  Sodom only have two shows scheduled, December 19 in Bochum, Germany and January 30 in Soi, Germany. Hopefully, they'll be busy writing between now and the new year, and we'll see a genuinely new studio album in 2009.

As for Destruction, they'll be touring Europe between November 26 and December 22, and Kreator will be hitting the States in April and May 2009 with Exodus, Warbringer and Belphegor. So much for That German Devastation tour.

VICIOUS CIRCLE - THE 7 DEADLY SINS

Sodom - Agent Orange

We've been waxing rhapsodic about Gojira's new album, The Way of All Flesh since mid-August, and now fans can finally hear it for themselves. The disc doesn't come out in the U.S. until October stream, but the band has posted 10 of the 12 tracks (the other two are coming shortly), which rip like a fishnet stocking. Click "more" to hear it, see tour dates with In Flames and check out our podcast interview with frontman Joe Duplantier.

Listen to The Way of All Flesh.

Click here to hear Gojira podcast interview.

In Flames and Gojira North American Tour Dates:
Nov 6 2008 8:00P
Metropolis Montreal, Quebec
Nov 7 2008 8:00P
Sound Academy Toronto, Ontario
Nov 8 2008 8:00P
Emerald Theater Detroit, Michigan
Nov 9 2008 8:00P
Agore Theater Cleveland, Ohio
Nov 10 2008 8:00P
House of Blues Chicago, Illinois
Nov 12 2008 8:00P
Myth Minneapolis, Minnesota
Nov 14 2008 8:00P
MacEwan Hall Calgary, Alberta
Nov 15 2008 8:00P
Events Center Edmonton, Alberta
Nov 17 2008 8:00P
Commodore Vancouver, British Columbia
Nov 18 2008 8:00P
Showbox Sodo Seattle, Washington
Nov 19 2008 8:00P
Roseland Portland, Oregon
Nov 21 2008 8:00P
Warfield San Francisco, California
Nov 22 2008 8:00P
The Nokia Club Los Angeles, California
Nov 23 2008 8:00P
House of Blues Las Vegas, Nevada
Nov 24 2008 8:00P
Marquee Theatre Phoenix, Arizona
Nov 25 2008 8:00P
Midnight Rodeo Albuquerque, New Mexico
Nov 26 2008 8:00P
Filmore Denver, Colorado
Nov 28 2008 8:00P
Palladium Dallas, Texas
Nov 29 2008 8:00P
La Zona Rosa Austin, Texas
Nov 30 2008 8:00P
House of Blues Houston, Texas
Dec 2 2008 8:00P
Hard Rock Live Orlando, Florida
Dec 3 2008 8:00P
Tabernacle Atlanta, Georgia
Dec 4 2008 8:00P
The Norva Norfolk, Virginia
Dec 5 2008 8:00P
Rams Head Live Baltimore, Maryland
Dec 6 2008 8:00P
Palladium Worcester, Massachusetts
Dec 7 2008 8:00P
Terminal 5 New York, New York
Dec 9 2008 8:00P
Pageant St.Louis, Missouri
Dec 10 2008 8:00P
The Rave Milwaukee, Wisconsin

The reign of Black Tyranny has come to an end. Machine Head and Arch Enemy have wrapped up their co-headlining tour with special guests Throwdown and Sanctity -- but they didn't close the curtain without first pulling all the stops.

At the final gig at the Avalon in Los Angeles:

During Throwdown's set, Machine Head frontman Robb Flynn joined the band onstage on second guitar for a cover of Sepultura's "Roots Bloody Roots."

Machine Head closed their set with their first ever single "Davidian." The song featured Anthrax 's Scott Ian on guitar, and back-up vocals by Arch Enemy growler Angela Gossow, Bleeding Through singer Brandan Schieppati and members of Sanctity. During the song, Throwdown vocalist Dave Peters and drummer Ben Dussaut hopped onstage and dove into the crowd, and Machine Head guitarist Phil Demmel also demonstrated his stagediving pwowess.

Celebrity guests at the event included, Slayer guitarist Kerry King, Ex-Strapping Young Lad and Dark Angel drummer Gene Hoglan, Fear Factory guitarist Christian Olde Wolbers and drummer Raymond Herrera, Bleeding Through keyboardist Marta, ex-Eighteen Visions bassist Mick Morris, ex Kittie guitarist Lisa Marx and Bam Margera.

Now check out this classic video for Machine Head's "Davidian":

Earlier today, Van Halen issued a press release that begins, "Come witness rock history as Van Halen makes an announcement of monumental perportions."

The press conference, which will feature Roth, Eddie, drummer Alex Van Halen and Eddie's son Wolfgang Van Halen (who replaces bassist Michael Anthony), will take place August 13 at 11 a.m. at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles.

According to an article in Billboard, The Van Halen tour will launch in early October and will feature 50 arena performances. The band's last tour was in 2004, with Hagar on vocals.

While Sammy Hagar chills in Cabo Wabo, here's "Panama":

Technical metal pioneers Shadows Fall have been added to this year's Sounds of the Underground Tour. The band will play the final co-headline slot, alternating with already announced bands Chimaira and Every Time I Die and headliners Gwar.

"It is going to be another summer of insanity for the boys in Shadows Fall and we couldn't be more stoked," says Shadows Fall singer Brian Fair. "Not only are we looking forward to partying with our friends in Darkest Hour, Every Time I Die, Chimaira and Gwar, but also to check out some killer music at one of the summers most diverse festival tours. We are planning on playing a set that will include songs from the early days of Shadows Fall up to our new album threads of life and leaving a wake of devastation behind. So bust out the sun screen, put the beers on ice and get ready to rock cuz the Shads are coming back to town."

Shadows Fall will be touring to support their new album Threads of Life, which came out April 3.

Other groups on this year's Hot Topic Presents Sounds of the Underground Tour include: Job For a Cowboy, Necro, Darkest Hour, Amon Amarth, The Acacia Strain, The Devil Wears Prada, Heavy Heavy Low Low, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, Goatwhore, This Is Hell, and 2 Cents.

The festival has also announced surprise guests in select cities. Thrash metal veterans Testament will play before Gwar at the Starland Ballroom on July 14 in New Jersey. Mushroomhead will close the show in their hometown of Cleveland, Ohio on July 21 and will also perform as special guests in Columbus on July 22, Chicago on July 23, and Minneapolis on July 24. Skatecore pioneers Suicidal Tendencies will close shows in San Jose, California on August 3, Irvine, California on August 4, and Mesa, Arizona on August 5. Modern thrash titans Lamb of God will headline a recently added date on August 11 in Louisville, Kentucky and will be joined by special guests Hatebreed and Behemoth.

This year's Sounds of the Underground launches July 6 in Dallas and runs through August 11 in Louisville.

Anyone for Shadow's Fall's "Enlightened by the Cold" video?:

After playing Sounds of the Underground for two years in a row in a mid-afternoon slot, the scumdogs of the universe, GWAR, will return this year to slaughter the masses at the end of the day. That's right, GWAR will headline the festival.Three other bands will rotate in the co-headline slot: Chimaira, Every Time I Die and a group not yet announced. Since GWAR were in Antarctica chewing the bones off their fresh kill at press time, here's what Chimaira singer Mark Hunter had to say about SOTU. "We played the first year of Sounds of the Underground and we had a blast," he said. "This year we are going to up the production level and bring something special to our fans. Then we will get wasted every night with ETID and GWAR. See you this summer."

Other bands on the bill include, Darkest Hour, Amon Amarth, The Acacia Strain, Goatwhore, The Devil Wears Prada, This is Hell, Necro, 2 Cents, Heavy Heavy Low Low and The Number Twelve Looks Like You. Additional special guests will join the tour on select dates. Sounds of the Underground will Launch July 6 in Dallas and run through August 8 in Denver. Tickets will be available for presale starting April 25 at the festival's Web site and will go onsale everywhere May 11.

All dates for Sounds of the Underground 2007:

Fri/Jul-06 DALLAS, TX
Sat/Jul-07 CORPUS CHRISTI, TX
Sun/Jul-08 HOUSTON, TX
Tue/Jul-10 ORLANDO,FL
Wed/Jul-11 MYRTLE BEACH, SC
Fri/Jul-13 WORCESTER, MA
Sat/Jul-14 SAYREVILLE,NJ
Sun/Jul-15 PHILADELPHIA, PA
Mon/Jul-16 WINSTON-SALEM, NC
Wed/Jul-18 TORONTO, ON
Thu/Jul-19 DETROIT, MI
Fri/Jul-20 MILWUAKEE, WI
Sat/Jul-21 CLEVELAND,OH
Sun/Jul-22 COLUMBUS, OH
Mon/Jul-23 CHICAGO,IL
Tue/Jul-24 MINNEAPOLIS, MN MYTH
Fri/Jul-27 CALGARY, AB
Sat/Jul-28 EDMONTON, AB
Mon/Jul-30 PORTLAND, OR
Wed/Aug-01 SALT LAKE CITY, UT
Fri/Aug-03 SAN JOSE, CA
Sat/Aug-04 IRVINE, CA
Sun/Aug-05 MESA, AZ
Mon/Aug-06 LAS VEGAS, NV
Wed/Aug-08 DENVER,CO

Now, sink your teeth into GWAR's "School's Out":